25 til I Die
The long-awaited sequel to Bryan Adams’ hit song
I’m twenty-five today. Quarter of a century. Halfway to fifty. Tomorrow, I’ll be closer to 50 than to when I was born. That’s a strange thought.
Just strange, mind you. Not scary or depressing or frightening.
I’m getting old. However, there’s always someone older. Unless you hold the current world record for oldest person alive. Then, well, no one is older than you. Congrats.
I thought of making some “25 Advices I Would Give To My Younger Self As I Slowly Yet Surely Approach The Age Of 25” post, but that’s not me.
I’m not sure I even have 25 advices to give.
Maybe drink a little less, read a little more, Skype home a little more.
But I can imagine Younger Me looking at Now Me with a bit of disdain. “What the hell do you know, old man?” he’d say, a snarky look on his face, the surety of youth tainting his voice. Arrogant little twat.
I haven’t lacked for helpful advice throughout my life, no way. Maybe things would be better if I applied that advice. But that’s the same for everyone.
“If only I’d listened to what dad told me.”
“If only I’d heeded dear old mama’s words.”
“I really should have listened to that angry witch doctor.”
In hindsight, it’s easy to say “Yeah, you know what? You were right.”
But that doesn’t change anything, does it? The people who give you advice don’t want to hear that.
Well, they do, but they want to hear it in the context of you applying it.
Then they get all the credit. As people write stories about you, they’ll sit on velvet couches, cigar in one hand, a beautiful person in the other, speaking to enraptured reporters.
“You know, I’m the one who started it all. They’d be nothing without me telling them (insert timely piece of followed advice here). Oh no.”
When you stand for nothing, you fall for everything. Old quote. Still relevant.
When you lack a belief, when you’re missing character, people will try to shove you into all sorts of molds.
For a long time, I downloaded and printed out my beliefs straight from each different person I met. Take it from me: People love to give advice, and their advice is always the best advice. Don’t listen to that guy. What does he know?
What do I believe? That question kept me up far too many nights. Sometimes it keeps me up now. I had no direction, no real thoughts of my future. No concrete formation for my castle spires in the sky.
I had no support for my own foundations, either. I’d be different around different people. I told myself I was flexible, adaptable, but I was just a people pleaser. I’d try to understand my girlfriends so I could be who they wanted me to be — failing to realize that they either wanted me as is or didn’t really want me, and I was losing in both scenarios.
I didn’t want to make any decisions myself.
Decisions had consequences. Easier to let things be chosen for me.
React. I’ve always been good at reaction.
Pro-action, though? Pre-emptive strikes? Nah.
Why strike first when you can wait and copy someone else? It’s simpler to hang around the fringes. It’s easier to live when you’re not sweating under the gaze of someone else.
I’ve heard the lamentations of growing old. I don’t really understand it.
Certainly, I feel older. I’m not sure if I’m in the best physical shape of my life, but I’m in the best mental shape of my life. The lines in the mirror could be wrinkles, but hey, I’m 25.
I reminisce about my younger years and I dream about my older years. These years feel in flux, I tell myself.
But then I think: when haven’t I felt in flux?
In elementary school, the thought of high school loomed. In high school, graduation and my exchange loomed. During my exchange, it was university, and now the wild, wild world looms.
When do things finally settle down?
I’ll finish my degree and start my career and then… what? I don’t know.
I’ve worried about what’s coming next my whole life. It hasn’t been about age.
I’ve always wished to be older or younger. Just to skip ahead or go back.
But that, paradoxically, makes being my current age easy.
If I’m going to worry no matter what, no matter how old I am, why bother worrying at all?
On account of me being Old soon, it’s time for me to give advice. I wasn’t going to do it, but too bad.
I’ve been roaming this earth for 25 long years, so you best listen up. Wise old man about to drop some mad wisdom.
You want tips to living a long, prosperous, fulfilling life? Go read something else then.
Kidding. Keep reading.
I’ll narrow down my 25 winding years into 2.5 streamlined flavour-packed nuggets o’ wisdom.
1) Enjoy what you enjoy
Wow, what a hack. But what do you enjoy?
Money? Work a job where you can make mad stacks.
Reading? Read, then.
People-watching? Well, go people watch.
25 years isn’t a lot. I haven’t done what I enjoy every day. There was a period of my life where I hardly did anything I really enjoyed. And guess what? It was magical.
Kidding. It was shit. Utter shit.
Figure out what’s important to you. You know already. Then do it.
2) Connect with your connections
I had the alliterative thing going so I couldn’t let it die. But you should connect with people. And this doesn’t come lightly. I’m skeptic of new people on good days.
But connections and people, being social, it’s important. At the very least, you get out of your head and bounce your ideas off someone else to make sure they aren’t bat-shit wacky.
Even if you have only two friends, meet them in person and talk to them. Make an effort. Get out of the echo chamber of your mind.
.5) Make your own advice
I let it die. Don’t listen to washed up old people. Or actually, do, but weigh their advice as you would weigh anyone else’s. Blaze your own path and forge your own advice. This journey is your own. Good luck.
