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Aug 1 2016 8:36 PM
From Natalie
Hey. :)
Hey what’s up
Not much, how about you?
It’s Natalie, by the way.
Not much just watching some House of Cards
Yeah I saved your number :D Surprised?
Sort of. :)
Also surprised that you didn’t text me.
Haha I thought girls didn’t like it when guys came on too strong
Girls may not like when guys do whatever, but I’m a woman.
I took you for a man, but maybe I was wrong.
xD Have you forgotten how man I was on Saturday? ;)
Haha I’m just kidding. :)
Which season of HoC are you on?
I just started
It’s so good tho. Kevin Spacey is the MAN
I know. He’s so hot too.
Wait what? He’s so old
And? Like you said, he’s a man.
You don’t think Robin Wright is hot?
Eh. She’s attractive for being old
I like my women young, so I can get them before they know better ;)
Ew.
Hahaha
What are you doing on Thursday?
Nothing so far.
Keep it free
I’m taking you out
What are we gonna do?
:)
I’m not going to tell you
But I’ll pick you up at 7 pm sharp
If you aren’t there, well too bad
Mysterious. But okay, I’ll be here. :)
You remember where I live?
I guess you’ll see come Thursday
Haha. I guess I will. :)
10:40PM
Would you have texted me back?
:DD ofc I would
I had a great time
Are you looking for another ‘great time’?
Well, I wouldn’t say no :D
But it’s not expected
Encouraged, yes
Good.
-_- ha ha.
But good. Usually I don’t text guys first, but…
I was just too good to let slip away? ;)
… Good night.
Hahaha night :D
Sep 24 2016 1:01 AM
From Zach
Really? You were in the school band? :DD
Nerd
Shut up, I wasn’t a nerd. Band was cool in my school.
Then you went to a nerd school
I can’t believe I’m dating a NERD
You’re a… turd, you turd. What kind of school did you go to then, hmm?
You certainly didn’t go to an air hockey school.
I went to Lil Harverd
And hey that game was rigged
You cheated
Cheating nerd
Lil Harverd? You mean Lil’ Harvard? Wtf is that even? :D
Let me guess, they kicked you out first year?
For sucking at air hockey?
It was for kids who were gonna go to Harvard but I was way too smart for them
Har har you cheating nerd
Did any school you go to teach you how to use PROPER PUNCTUATION?!
Can you PLEASE add periods to your sentences already, I feel like I’m talking with a fifteen year old.
Oh my god just when I thought you couldn’t get any more nerd
The unthinkable happens
NERD 2.0
NOW WITH TWICE THE NERD
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
You’re so stupid.
COME ON, COME ALL
SEE THE MIGHTY NERD OF ALL NERDS
*one damn it
-_- Ass.
:D Ahaha
The truth hurts.
But really, that air hockey game was rigged.
… Oh my God. Are those… Could it be?
PERIODS?!
That’s what she said hahahaha
How old are you?? Seriously.
Old enough. ;)
But really, I just let you win that air hockey game.
Mhm. You’re SUCH a gentleman.
It’s okay. I only posted it on my Snapchat story, and only, like, 50 people saw how bad you were.
You mean, like, only, like, 50 people saw how nice I was to a nerd
:( I’m not a nerd.
You are.
But
You’re my nerd.
Aww. ❤ You’re so cheesy.
I know.
Speaking of cheese, pizza tomorrow?
And bang
Pizza yes!
Bang maybe.
Depends on what pizza you bring.
I was thinking I would bring your favourite
Which is?
Obviously triple cheese with pepperoni and bacon, isn’t that everyone’s?
Good boy. :)
Oh, bring oregano too, I’m out.
What do you think I am, a delivery boy?
Bring oregano.
Or no bang.
Oregano bang?
Hahaha
… What?
You know, oregano bang?
Are we gonna bang?
Kinda sounds like that
… It’s o-REG-ano, not o-re-GANO.
Whatever you say
So I bring the o-reg-ano, and we bang?
Maybe.
Nothing good ever came easy, you know.
Except you. :D
It was ONE TIME
ONE
TIME
Hahaha! :D I had to.
Good night xoxo
You can’t do that.
Do what?
Did they teach you how to play x’s and o’s in your nerd school?
You can only have three to a line
And also you only get to pick one
OMG just go to sleep stupid.
:D Night, gorgeous. See you tomorrow.
:) ❤
Nov 8 2016 10:26 PM
From Zach❤
You home from work?
Just got home.
Not looking forward to working again tomorrow morning.
We should chill.
Don’t you work tomorrow?
Yeah I work
By the time you get here, it will be like eleven…
I need my beauty sleep.
Besides, we’re meeting Thursday… right?
Yeah yeah
I wanna see you now though.
It’s too late for me, I’m sorry.
Thursday though ❤
Wtf someone just rang my apartment…
It’s me :D I was already driving here haha
… What if I say no?
Can’t I see you tonight AND Thursday?
I need my sleep.
Me too.
I always sleep best next to you.
Hmph. You’re just saying that. :)
I’ll be down soon.
We should do it in the elevator, save some time.
We should not.
Well, maybe.
Jan 20 2017 5:26 PM
From Nerd 2.0
Hey, have you left yet?
Yeah driving rn
Could you stop and get some things?
Please, pretty please, I’m still busy preparing for the party…
What need
Tortilla chips
Salsa
Guacamole
Ginger Ale
Vodka
Beer
Paper towel
K
Get condoms too, I’m out here.
I have
I know, but I want some here.
Y
What if you forget?
Wait there were still some
Where they go
What? We used them last week.
I thought there were more
You shouldn’t text while driving.
Just get the things please xoxo
Hiding someyjib??
What?
You’re gonna get a ticket.
*something fucking hell. Pulled over
I’m not hiding anything…
Look, can you please just get the things and get here? I’m so behind.
Is Andrew coming?
Yes.
Why?
I know you slept with him.
He’s my friend.
Yeah, like two years ago…
And now the condoms are missing??
Convenient
Really? I don’t have time to do this now. I’m not cheating on you.
You never told me Andrew was coming
Yes, I did.
Wtf no you didn’t
I told you last week. You just didn’t listen.
You never listen.
Right
Whatever.
I have work to do so I don’t think I’ll make it, have fun :)))
… Really?
How childish can you be?
Seriously? Just gonna ignore my calls?
Fine. Whatever, screw you then.
I’m going to have fun with or without you.
Jan 21 2017 08:14 PM
From Idiot
Hey.
So you’re talking to me now?
I know I fucked up and I’m sorry.
I’m not doing this over text.
Can I come over then?
No.
When can we do this then?
I don’t know. Maybe never.
I’m really tired. You have to trust me, you know.
I trust you with whatever her name is, and you know how much I like her.
I just…
Don’t you trust me?
Yeah, I know. She’s just a friend.
I trust you.
I know. And Andrew is just a friend.
So what we had sex like two years ago? Get over it.
I know. I’m sorry. I… overreacted. I was just stressed from work and… fucked up.
Yeah, you did.
Can you do something for me?
Are you in a position to be asking anything from me?
I promise it will be worth your while.
… Right.
Come on, when have I let you down on a promise?
Other than yesterday
Yesterday.
Yeah.
If it’s not worth my while I’m never talking to you again.
It will be.
I need you to go to your apartment window and check the moon for me.
I PROMISE this will all make sense.
… I’m not wearing any clothes, I’m not going to the fucking window.
You better not get turned on by that.
I will wisely say nothing about it. Could you please put on clothes, for me? I know I’m not in any place to ask.
Wow, I never thought I would be asking you to put clothes on.
Asking? You should be begging.
I am. I beg you.
Anything specific I should be looking for?
You’ll know it when you see it.
I see the moon.
You’re at the window?
Yes.
… Really?
You better start explaining what I’m supposed to be seeing or you’re gonna be seeing stars.
Come to your other window.
I can’t see the moon from that window, idiot.
Yeah, I… realize that now. Just come.
If you made me put on clothes for nothing, we’re over.
I know. See anything?
No.
… I see some stupid idiot with a bunch of stupid roses.
Wipe that stupid smile off your face.
I brought Mars bars.
What else?
Pizza. Your favourite.
I’m out of oregano.
Already purchased.
How many Mars bars?
You’re so adorable when you’re mad, you know that?
Ten. Oh, and Mars ice cream.
Shut up. I am not.
The big tub?
What am I, stupid?
Don’t answer that
Yes. VERY stupid.
Show me.
And the ice cream too.
Hmm…
How many roses did you bring?
A dozen.
Could you be any more cliché?
I could start singing.
No, don’t do that.
Wait, is anyone around?
Um…
There’s some old guy walking around.
Sing for me.
Um…
Sing.
You look so stupid right now.
Is he looking?
Yeah, looking at me like I’m insane.
Certainly got him to move though.
You are insane.
… I’ll be down soon.
I’m coming for the pizza though, not for you.
We aren’t having sex, got it?
Got it.
I mean it this time.
You so much as touch me and I’m throwing you out.
Got it.
The ice cream is gonna melt, you know.
It’s not gonna melt, it’s the middle of winter.
The pizza will freeze, then.
I hope you freeze.
Idiot.
Wipe that stupid smile off your face.
Sorry.
Don’t make me regret opening this door.
I get the crusts this time.
Jan 22 2017 2:42 PM
From Nerd 2.0
Come back.
Please.
I want you.
Again.
And again.
Can’t you finish your work tomorrow?
One more day
And night with me
Not msf amymor,
Anymore* Hah
*Mad
Come back. Don’t text and drive.
How bad do you want me
So bad.
I want you inside me.
Please, I’m begging.
134.jpg
…
Yep work can wait
Omw
Hurryyy
Cop pulled me over for speeding…
God damn it.
I’m gonna be a bit late… :(((
Nooooooo
Oh well, I guess I’ll just wait for you…
You naughty boy
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136.jpg
137.jpg
Fucking cops…
Holy shit woman.
What did I do to deserve you?
Omw
❤
Code isn’t working, they change it?
What’s the code
CODE come on I’m dying down here
Code? Oh yeah they changed it.
What was it…
I can’t remember…
138.jpg
STOP THAT you tease
Pleeeeeeease give me the code I swear I’ll never do anything wrong again
6969
… Really?
Come on
Just try it.
… Wow.
How old was the guy who set this up?
Probably about as old as you.
Yeah I would totally put a code as that
Why is your elevator so slow??!!
I want you to go slow
With me
Anything for you babe
Mar 4 2017 2:49 PM
From Nerd❤
I love you.
3:46 PM
I love you too, gorgeous.
4:05 PM
Xoxo
5:20 PM
You’re still playing the game wrong.
5:40 PM
Shut up.
Thanks for reading. Hit that green ❤ if you enjoyed.

