Rediscovering An Outlet

So I finally did it, very late in the game but better now than never. I don’t expect anyone to read this blog. I might throw it up on my Facebook but among the countless click bait, I highly doubt this will get read by anyone. I am making a blog to maintain the exercise of writing. To have a coherent and organized platform to put my thoughts, ideas and stories.

My name is JT Esterkamp, the J stands for John, the T for Thomas. I’m a 5'8 organ donor with an IQ of 120. I am from the land they call Ohio, the middle child of the Midwest. To the north are the depressed forgotten auto factories of Michigan, to the South, a barren land of Appalachia known only as Kentucky. Nestled between the flat farmlands of Indiana and the steel factories of Pennsylvania. Ohio is a mutt of a state, we have no single identifying feature about us. The encompassing features of our Midwestern plainness make us primely relevant during those ever important Presidential Elections. That’s probably the only time you’ll hear anything about Ohio. I went to school at Ohio University, I majored in Video Production, I graduated without honors, without ever making the Dean’s List, just another face in an endless sea of hunter green and white. I was never much of a student.

I could write about so many things on this first post. The last year of my life, full of cringeworthy moments all caused by your’s truly. I could tell you about the postgrad drift I experienced, or my move to New York City with no real plan and barely any money. These are all subjects though that deserve their own post. This post shall remain like a girl in Uggs and a Northface; basic.

I am not a writer. I do not consider myself a writer whatsoever. I don’t know if I write well, I’ve never considered anything I wrote to be particularly outstanding. For my entire life I’ve been discouraged from writing. My handwriting held me back from ever being able to develop my writing. Teacher’s would make jokes about how they couldn’t read anything I wrote. So naturally, I felt discouraged by the concept of writing, I grew to hate the thought of writing and began to think it was stupid and unnecessary. School made me hate a lot of things.

The best evaluation I got on my writing was in my senior year of high school. I was taking a writing course and one of the first things my teacher told me was that I was a “stream of conscious writer”. This probably explains my fondness for Hunter S. Thompson, Catcher In The Rye and The Road. It would not be until 3 years later that I discovered the possibilities and importance of writing. I was taking a directing and screenwriting course, both stressing above all else, the importance of writing. I began to freewrite daily, and found myself forming more coherent thoughts and ideas. The constant narrative that was going on in my head finally found a place on paper. It gave life to the seemingly abstract void of thoughts and ideas rambling in my mind. I began getting into comedy, and began writing more, and found myself coming up with jokes with more ease, the more I wrote. For once in my life, I loved the idea of writing.

Unfortunately I fell out the habit of writing. It’s something that takes discipline and commitment. The end of me writing came about at a very odd time in my life. Very strange. I fell into a black hole and was lost for a while, in a “I was addicated to coke” kinda way, but not exactly. It was a slow unforgiving struggle to escape. Somedays I wonder how I got through college in one piece.

Now I am sitting in an apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan looking out at the Queensboro Bridge, only yesterday I found out I had been hired to a full time position within my career field. I feel I have a new lease on life, like all the shit from behind doesn’t matter anyone. Soon I will be a suit in a corporate position, but this job will give me the freedom with both my time and money to rediscover lost passions; comedy, filmmaking, writing and improv. I’ve always enjoyed performing, it’s a great creative outlet, plus it’s fun to make other people laugh.

Writing is a muscle, you need to work it out to remain strong and proficient. Right now I am the doughy guy who hasn’t hit the gym in like a year. There’s a period of discomfort, of soreness I’ve got to overcome. I see this blog as a platform to put work out at least every other day.

Here we go!