Frustrated. With God.

To be honest I am a bit scared of writing this — afraid that He’ll be offended. For real. lol

Somehow I see it coming, and I have been indeed very excited about what’s coming, about what He has in store for me in the next few months. At least I know it includes restoration (of myself in Him, of my family, circumstances *I hope*), but this is also a time of deeper personal experiences and revelation of the Father.

But right now, right at the doorstep, I get frustrated —

— frustrated because I don’t know exactly what to do now, although He’s been telling me to enjoy (now you see how hard-headed I can be);

— frustrated because I want to see grandeur, majestic stuffs descend from heaven and surprise me until I can’t feel my jaw, but what I see day to day is still same-old-same-old;

— frustrated because I know He’s working out deep in me but I can’t see the fruits (yet);

— frustrated, because I am impatient.

I know this post would end like this since it’s half-rant half-prayer, hence always coming back to praising Him as I should

Lord would you forgive my impatience, 
you know I don’t want anything less than encountering you but sometimes I just can’t see it with these blind eyes;
would you restore my sight to see Your majesty and Your love in my day-to-day, routine acts,
so that in those same-old-same-old You would come and inject Life, that people would see and give You glory, Lord.

I thank You that You are faithful, and You remain faithful
You have always given me steps to follow in, to let me know that You are still here with me through all this
thank You for the little encouragements You give me throughout the days and weeks, through loving people You have put in my life

I ask that You will continue to strengthen me daily, and strengthen my brothers and sisters in their daily walk with You,
that they remain in awe and wonder of You and not take this intimate relationship with You for granted.

Hallelujah, for He is good!

Like newborn infants, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, since you have tasted that the Lord is good. [1 Peter 2:2–3]