Tell me who your friends are….

and I’ll tell you who you are.

Juanita Ventura
4 min readMay 21, 2020


Wikipedia defines The Law of Attraction as “the name given to the belief that ‘like attracts like’ and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results. This belief is based upon the idea that people and their thoughts are both made from pure energy, and the belief that like energy attracts like energy.” We typically hear about this when we want to manifest things in our lives, such as money, cars, homes, jobs, weight loss, relationships, etc. We use affirmations, we visualize what we want and wait for it to appear. I make it sound simple, and am down-playing it some, but there is quite a bit of truth to it. The process aside, have you ever taken note of the people in your life while you’re doing that? In fact, who has been in your life at other times? Take a minute to think about some good times, some bad times, neutral times….who was with you?

A little over one week ago, I was out on Lake Pleasant, on a kayak, under the full moon. It was beautiful. I was pondering how lucky I was to be there, surrounded by a group of truly fun and interesting people; diverse, athletic and so much fun! Then, I recalled something - Some weeks ago, I was in the Intuitive Studies Open Circle that the Pastor of Harmony in Phoenix (Independent Spiritualist Church) leads and he asked us to list 5 things that we liked about ourselves. One of the very first thoughts I had was, “I love the people in my life.” I am surrounded by the most amazing people, and I’m constantly meeting more. It’s such a blessing to me because for a while, my life was not so.

When I was young, high school age, I went to a school that had ‘cliques’ and I suppose most high schools are that way. This is the time in life when we painfully start to learn who we are, and who want to be. I seemed to be able to bounce around easily, from group to group, finding one that matched my current mood, or entertainment requirements. I had a small, but diverse group of friends and many acquaintances, and I truly loved socializing. High was all about socializing, for me. I never missed a day! Each group did something different for me, energetically, and I for them, I’m sure.

Shortly after high school, I was yanked back to the United States. This made me sad, angry, and resentful. I fell into a “not so positive” crowd- subconsciously driven- and suddenly I was married with kids. For 15 years, my circle of friends was NOTHING like what I had been used to having, and I couldn’t really socialize the way I had prior to being married. I wasn’t in a healthy marriage, and my extended relationships reflected that. My life successes, during that time, required me to work harder at achieving them. I knew that their energy always affected outcomes of my goals, so much so that I often kept them secret. These goals were very low level goals, too! I had such very low expectations of myself and to some extent, I kept that company because my own thoughts and beliefs had led me to them, surely I was meant to be with those people.

Fast forward to today. In the last three+ years, since I’ve lived in Phoenix, I have met (and reconnected with) some truly phenomenal people! I have to thank my sister for urging me to move here, it has been very good for me. I am, again, surrounded by diversity, intelligence, and fun.

Prior to living here, in my Tucson years, I was still going through some life challenges and was not fully open to connecting. I should mention that I have a handful of good friends, from that time, but over 85% of the people I engaged with during my time there, are no longer a part of my life. I have always been a giver, but it took being unemployed for 14 months to learn how to be a receiver. That was the shift that I needed! I had to learn, and understand, ENERGY and ENERGETIC CONNECTIONS.

None of this was new to me, but I had not personally experienced enough to understand how my relationships were affected by it. It is said that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. This is true for me — and likely you. I now truly believe that your head space, your thought processes, are what attract people into your life. Change your thoughts, change your circle. Improve your thoughts, improve your circle. Tell me who you want your friends to be. Hold that thought. Feel that reality. Now watch it become your reality.