Bill Cosby doesn’t care about your Black ass.

And other reasons I hope you trip on the cape you put on for him.

Hey there, Black men! I want to talk to y’all in particular about something for three reasons:

  1. As a group that I identify with/belong to, it’s my responsibility, all of our responsibility, to check one another when we see an opportunity to be better.
  2. While not the only, y’all have been the primary offenders in a particularly disturbing trend I’ve noticed.
  3. I believe in telling people about themselves.

Now that we’ve established a why, let’s get around to the what. Yesterday, America’s former-favorite ugly sweater aficionado and celebrated TV dad, Bill Cosby, was (finally) perp-walked into a Pennsylvania courthouse and arraigned on sexual assault charges that took nearly the entire 12 year statute of limitations allowed by the state, to be brought against him. They even took one uglass mugshot that’s about to make you lose your appetite:

I hear the weight of a cool five dozen rape allegations makes the camera age you 241 years.

That is Bill Cosby. That is the man that brought you an entire lifetime of TV rerun laughs and warm feelings of Black family cohesiveness that it is time to let go of. He is not Cliff Huxtable, and sorry, Cliff Huxtable is not real. Much in the same way you wish your children would stop believing that Santa Claus brought them that hoverboard for Christmas because you bought that, I wish you’d stop believing that Cliff Huxtable — beloved father, physician, husband, and TV patriarch is being accused of rape by nearly 60 women. Bill Cosby is, and that is his mugshot. He is finally facing criminal charges for a criminal act he allegedly committed nearly 12 years ago,and admitted to a decade ago in a now-publicly available deposition for a civil lawsuit stemming from the same sexual assault allegation. If you need to hear it from Bill Cosby that he drugged and had sex with women, your wish has been granted.

This has all been covered ad nauseam, I’d like to get back to y’all. I have a question: Why?

Why?
No, really y’all…WHY?

Why in the world would you insult the intelligence of people you claim to think so highly of by implying that more than one sensational news story at a time is just too fucking much to pay attention to at any one given time? I’m personally struggling to understand aiming such a message at a wide swath of people who I’m confident can complete the Betcha Can’t Do It Like Me Challenge (which is hard as HELL) as if suddenly being aware of Dylann Roof and his racist, murderous, Toadstool lookin’ ass and Bill Cosby’s serial rape allegations are an impossibility. As if we wouldn’t be able to make sense of Bill Cosby being awful at the same time as we’re able to think in a complex manner about what news of Charlie Sheen’s HIV diagnosis means for the pending lawsuits against him and as well the stigma that HIV positive people face at the behest of misinformation and ignorance. Entirely separate conversation alert: this is something that overwhelmingly impacts you in an exacerbated manner, as Black men.

I digress.

Defending Bill Cosby’s disgusting ass is not the hill to die on. Please stop doing it. You’re doing this at the expense of the Black people you unfairly label “distracted,” and at the expense of his victims who deserve better than you calling into question their victimhood so that you can feel good about unfounded claims that a wealthy Black man was gearing up to buy a major network that he likely would have used to patronize you, anyhow.

Besides, when you defend Bill Cosby, you’ve absolutely played yourself. Quit playing yourself.

For those of you who don’t remember the “Pound Cake Speech,” from Cosby’s remarks at the Brown v. Board 50th anniversary commemoration, I invite you recall the day when Bill Cosby blamed you and absolved White people from responsibility for structural racism. He also called your parents unfit, policed everything from your sense of style to your vernacular to your names that absolutely mean something, and told you that you deserve to have your head blown off by a cop for having a piece of pound cake in your hand because who the fuck has ever been up to any good at all with a piece of pound cake in their hand?

First of all, I don’t know who in the hell Bill Cosby thought he was talking to that day but frankly, I’m shocked he left the building without catching hands. No, seriously, that speech was dangerous, hot garbage and if you don’t believe me, read the transcript because you can’t make up that one time Bill Cosby told you that you should be jailed if your parents name you Mohammed because they “don’t know a damned thing about Africa.”

Here is a list of things that I can guarantee you Bill Cosby doesn’t give a damn about, in no particular order:

  1. Bodily autonomy.
  2. Black women.
  3. Women in general.
  4. Future, DS2, your Foamposites, and other markers of your carefree Blackness that he believes dooms you to poverty and death.
  5. You.

Bill Cosby never loved you, anything, or anyone you’ve grown to love but here you are, daring anyone to have negative opinions about him because nearly 60 women have come forward and made rape allegations against him that totally hold water. I invite you to first, choose a new cause if you care about Black people as much as you claim (feel free to start by caping up for Black women and LGBTQ+ in the same manner!), and following that, shut all the way up before you open your mouth or flex your fingers to defend Bill Cosby ever again.

He isn’t a positive representation of Black personhood, and you look desperate when you claw at the remnants of that farce. Hey, if being led arm in arm by your legal team to face a judge when you should be playing with your grandkids is something you aspire to, by all means do you, but leave the rest of us out of this.

He is the State of Pennsylvania’s problem now, let them handle that. You have better things to do.

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