Hello yes, I think you did a really good job explaining aspects of YouTube that most people probably wouldn’t know about such as the YouTube spaces in cities around the country. It showed that YouTube is an even bigger organization than people previously thought. I also really enjoyed how you had an in-depth explanation on a specific YouTuber and used as an example during other aspects of your essay. This made them feel very personal and because of that I was very invested in your essay.
Something I feel that you can improve upon is while I was reading your essay it read as an opinion paper and not as an argumentative/research based one. I feel like you have a good argument so if you were to include your sources as well as in-text citation your argument would become very strong as well as validated by experts. Another thing I feel you could improve upon is your conclusions. What I mean by this is that at the end of each of your body paragraphs I feel like they didn’t end and I was waiting to learn more about what was written earlier in the paragraph.