Real Talk with Judge Dawson
Cycle Breaker Leadership Principle number eight is “Develop Self Control.” I recently wrote about the basics of applying this Leadership Principle in our lives to help us reach our maximum potential. Now, with the recent invent in Ferguson, its important to expand on this topic and discover ways that we can quickly move our lives to a place of peace, safety and success.
There is no denying that in this society there is an extreme need for self control. Professionals, which include police officers, are often quick to overreact just in the name of authority. Its at these time when emotions flare up leading to overreacting. However, professionals are not the only ones loosing control. Everyday people, when faced with feelings of unfairness, sometimes overreact in response to the perceived unfairness. As we wait for the facts to become clear about the tragedy in Ferguson, one thing for sure is that whenever there is a questionable death, there is a possibility that people did or will overreacted.
The Ferguson tragedy and others have lead me to identify two areas where we need self control the most. 1. We need to use self control before we do something that could derail our future and 2. We need to use self control after a tragedy has occurred. Its at those two times when our ability to stay calm and considerate of the big picture will determine just how bad the situation has to get.
For this expanded discussion on self control, I like the definition that states self control it “the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations.”
How to use self control before you do something that could derail your future.
This discussion is important because too many people find themselves in destructive situations simply because they didn’t do the proper pre-planning. The first step is to clearly define the vision for your life. By this I mean a vision for every area of your life. Your finances, your education, your profession and your relationships. When you clearly identify your vision you will know where you are going. Knowing where you are going will keep you from “floating” in any direction. That means, when you are faced with a decision to take controversial action, controversial to your vision, you will be less likely to take that action and you will be more likely to make the right decision.
How to use self control after a tragedy.
Once a tragedy hits, it takes a lot of discipline to keep from loosing the focus on your overall vision. In fact, sometimes the pain and disappointment is so severe that you may consider abandoning your vision. This is when the power of “Emotional Intelligence” comes in. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions in your self and others so that you can regulate those emotions and make good decisions in the face of negative situations. When you intelligently use your emotions, you will avoid over reacting in your initial and later responses. Remember life is long and many of the situations we find ourselves in will be just small parts of our story. Let’s make sure we are not doing something in the “now” that will may regret in the “future.”
Though I make it sound easy, I know its not. If you want to learn more about
Cycle breaker Leadership Principle number eight, “Develop Self Control” join Judge Dawson’s Cycle Breaker/Finish First program on Monday nights at 5:30pm at the East Cleveland Municipal Court. East Cleveland Municipal Court’s Judge William L. Dawson is on a mission to help people to Finish First, live their best lives and be Cycle Breakers!
Social Media @JudgeDawsonSelf Control in Light of the Michael Brown Shooting