The Art of Self-Love
You were stood up three times on dates.
The phrase “if he wanted to, he would” is becoming real to you as you’re so mad you let a man treat you the way he did. Just a few days ago, you were very excited about your first date with James. You stood in front of your mirror, carefully applying your makeup and putting in so much efforts to look good. Tonight was the third date with James, a man who had seemed charming and sincere on your first encounter. But this was the third time you felt that flutter of hope, only to be stood up, yet again.
The first time, you had waited in the cozy little coffee shop in Gwarinpa for almost an hour. James had called, apologizing profusely, saying something came up at work. You, the optimistic one, believed him. You had gone home, a little disappointed but hopeful for your next meeting.
The second date was set for a Saturday afternoon at the park. You had dressed casually; you wore a yellow sun dress excited for a relaxing day outdoors. You had even packed a small picnic. Yet, once again, you found yourself sitting alone on a park bench, the food untouched beside you. James had sent a text an hour later, another excuse about a family emergency. This time, you felt a deeper sting of rejection, but you shrugged it off, giving him the benefit of the doubt, the problem with you is that you never see the bad in people which is why you’ve constantly been taken for granted.
Now, on the third date, you had mixed feelings. Part of you knew what was coming, but another part of you clung to the hope that James would show up and everything would make sense because nobody is daft enough to stand someone up twice and not redeem themselves the third time. You arrived at the trendy new restaurant and sat calmly praying to God to let this effort be worth it, this time around. You sat at the table, your eyes darting to the door each time it opened. Minutes turned to hours, and the familiar wave of disappointment washed over you.
As you sat there, alone again, you tried as much as you could to control your tears as you start to think of how not so worth it you are, because people create time for those they care about and deem important and just maybe you’re not that important. The problem wasn’t James; it was your willingness to tolerate being treated as an afterthought. you had been so focused on finding love and validation from someone else that you had neglected to give yourself the love and respect you deserved.
You decided that night to embark on a new journey, one of self-love and self-discovery. You started small, treating yourself to your favourite activities: reading, painting, and long walks in nature and most importantly, blocking James for your sanity. You also surrounded yourself with supportive friends who uplifted you rather than bring you down. You remembered how angry your best friend, Angie was when you narrated everything to her and how she made you promise her to never let a man treat you that way, ever again.
Part of your journey involved setting boundaries, you learned to say no to people who didn’t respect your time and energy. You became more selective about who you let into your life, ensuring they were people who valued you as much as you valued yourself.
Self-love wasn’t just about emotional and mental well-being; it was also about taking care of your physical self. You developed a skincare routine, started eating healthier, and made sure to get enough sleep. You pampered yourself with little treats, bubble baths, a new book, and a day at the spa.
Over time, you noticed a change, you felt more confident, happier, and at peace with yourself. you no longer sought validation from others because you found it within yourself. You realized that self-love wasn’t a destination but an ongoing journey, one that you embraced wholeheartedly.
Months later, at an art gallery opening, you bumped into James. He looked surprised to see you, and after an awkward exchange, he apologized for his past behavior, explaining the personal struggles he had been facing. You listened, forgave him, and wished him well, you walked away, feeling a sense of closure, but more importantly, a sense of pride in how far you had come.
Your story is a testament to the power of self-love. You learned that loving yourself is the foundation for every other relationship, just as Myles Munroe explained.
