10m mark

I wrote about something on working towards your 100km mark. How I completed a 100km trek in Hong Kong in December 2016. I reflected that my next journey was to reach the 2018 Asian Games. It has has been talk since then. Getting into the act is harder than I thought.

Right now, I feel like I have just begun, with only the first 10 metres into my trek. And I am faced with the steepest slope imaginable. My failing 28 year old body. I really question myself right now. I dont know if I can really do this.

I poured my heart and soul into starting school right this year. Im beginning to ease into it, its like clockwork. But with this shift, I feel further from my potential in climbing.

But then again, is climbing really my everything?

I wonder.

I want to finish this “100km trek” I set myself out to do.

I need to persevere.

Today, climbing by myself in my tired state was something really difficult. I couldnt shake off that feeling. It feels like a heavy cloud. I can pull and crank, but I cant get my energy level up. I cant recruit or burst, my body just wants to shut down. I did feel better when I started to talk to people. I always thought I could do this alone, because its what trains you to really focus. But I realise now that without the support and a few smiles, I cannot bring myself out of that hole. The focus is there, the mind is sharp and willing to try and push on, but the connection between mind and body is missing.

This connection, I need to know how to make it happen. Only then can I cross this hurdle, and continue on my trek.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone else out there works from 730am–730pm and trains after that. I did that when I was 22, not sure if I can do this now.

Allez jud. Venga.