Realistic expectations
Boulderactive went by pretty fast. Its almost a week since the competition was held at Aperia Mall. Thought I would jot down some thoughts before the next wave of competition come in again.
This 2017 segment is slightly different. There were more highly skilled women climbers who came down specially to join the competition. Hung Ying from Taiwan, familar faces from Indonesia and Thailand, and Futaba Ito from Japan. Having just ended the Asian Youth Championship week, I was pretty psyched to climb and compete against these girls. They were the best few in Asia, having seen them in some World Cups and big competitions.

Managed to squeeze in some climb sessions with the strong ones. The crowd in the gyms were buzzing with excitement from the competition. It was from this session, that I assessed my current standings against these girls. And truthfully, I could tell that I wasnt at my strongest nor was I climbing at the same standards as them. I had just came back from Rocklands refreshed and strangely, this realisation of standards didnt put me down as much as it would have in the past. It was a good sign because this was always the trigger in my comp mentality. Perhaps with age, and having experienced the outdoors more, competitions and the need to excel has taken a back seat in my climbing. So I did what I could with the few climbing sessions and settled my heart to ready myself for Boulderactive.
Going into the competition, I was determined to make it to the finals to compete against the few. I knew for sure that Hung Ying, Futaba, Vanessa and Liting will make it into the finals. What I wasnt sure of, was if I still had it in me to prove my worth.

Qualifiers was a really shaky start for me. I knew that it would be a rush for me to come down from work to begin in the 1st detail. So many factors threw me off my game — shaky legs from the adrenaline of rushing, poor warmup, mental states not calm. During my detail, I struggled to climb certain moves easily done in the past. I had to switch my strategy to work on routes that were easiest to top, compared to routes that would show my strength.

I placed 8th with only 2 tops. Looking at statistics, this result paled in comparison to the other stronger girls. I was disappointed. But because I already knew this fact, I told myself to move on and do well for the semi-finals. I also realised that I might have forgotten the routines to what makes me tick and excel as a competitor:
- Getting the body literally warm and moving by doing routes in isolation
- Practicing the recruitment of fingers to latch on and grip hard
- Springy legs for when u need to kick off
- Putting my body into uncomfortable positions, basically shocking my body

I started semi-finals refreshed, although physically a little tired. I worked through my routine and from the cheers, I could tell that not all the routes have been topped. I was feeling more ready, and alert, and gone was the feeling of stress. I only had one thing on my mind, which was to do my best on the routes so that I wont regret any inaction. I only managed to top 2 routes in the end, and that placed me in 4th place to make it into the finals. I ended semis feeling contented in my mental state, although physically I had much to improve on.

Watching the stronger girls solve the routes opened my eyes to the micro betas and pure grit to complete the routes. Knowing now that the routes can be solved, that effort that you would put in to do it again, should be present right from the start. I learned alot more about trying very hard and I told myself that I will practice this more in the gyms. I.e no matter how shitty the positions, body tension, grip, toughness of the route, we owe it to ourselves to solve it, in order to improve and get better.
This Boulderactive, friends took precedence of my need to climb and excel. I had a chance to bring Futaba (Fu-chan)to Kinetics to do some warmups. Got a chance to know her better as well. We are 13 years apart! Wow. While she walked up tricky routes with ease, I struggled to repeat the routes, despite having done them previously 😂 Being a youth, I realised that she probably hasnt gone through weight trainings and intense fingerboard sessions like I had. This strength and movement that she had probably came from the gyms she climbed in. Just from watching and learning from the people who climb there, and working on the routes in the gym itself.

I entered finals with the same mentality as my semis — all ready to go. What was pleasantly absent, was my stress. For once, I didnt feel like I needed, or wanted to be the best. I just wanted to enjoy the routes and really give my best. At the same time, I had the clarity to think, analyse and be efficient in my first go. The Singaporean boys were all “tilting” back scene with the stress and pressure to top the routes and win. Having been in their position, I honestly say that it is very difficult to break out of that mentality. Sometimes its luck, sometimes you have to go through it and make the best of it. The most comforting way go break out of it, is through the friends you have around you. For that I have Felicia and even Vanessa who never fails to encourage you behind the walls after your attempts ♥️🙆🏻



I finally placed 4th , with very low attempts to bonus. I would say that this was due to exact execution of the beta, and very try-hard first attempts (mcmphm) on the routes. Of course, being awarded with tops would have better reflected my performance, but I walked away knowing that I had met my realistic expectations this time around. Some may say that when we aim low, we achieve below the standards. But this was something that I had struggled with in the past, to feel satisfied and most of all, enjoy my competition. The fact was that I wasnt physically strong now, but I had my experience and route-reading, mentality and passion.
Im not sure if I will have the same reflections on my next competition: Crux / Rockmaster. But I hope that I keep this up. :) There may not be as many powerhouses or international climbers joining those competitions, but I hope that I continue to keep my mental strong and guard against the unnecessary stress and pressure that comes from the expectations from myself.

Photo credits for the past few photos goes to the people at Boulderactive/Ducklight Photography. This one is special, because during the finals, for once I looked up to give a smile. Usually I’m glassy and serious. But this reflected my calmness and comfortability in standing there before the crowd, no pressure at all. I smiled at Ashley because she had mentioned something about me — cant remember what 😂
