Benjamin, as someone old (69) who has been there and done that, including at least six serious suicide attempts between the ages of 16 and 23, I will let you know that you do not want to do this. You have a purpose which you have not yet found, maybe writing, helping others, something. My last attempt was the worst, and I wound up in a coma in a LA County facility in the far boondocks for over a week, and a Being spoke to me whilst in the coma, I’m not sure who, God or angel, but told me that if I never tried it again I could return to life, and I promised right then and there. And I have stuck and will continue to stick with that promise, because in all the years since, no matter how horrible the situation gets, I realize how many souls I have helped and touched with my love, and you can do the same, dear heart. You are not the center of the universe, only meant to think of yourself, and you are here for a reason which, if you do not fulfill, with only need to be repeated in your next go-around. Infinity is real, and there is no end, but only change and continuing. In the end, it’s easier and much more fulfilling to follow your destiny and be as brave as possible in the face of despair. Every life extinguished prematurely affects all the life surrounding it in a very negative way. Do you really mean to cause such suffering? You do have a silver tongue in words, and if your piece was anything other than genuinely felt, I apologize for this little rant. But I was worried about you, because I know how it feels to just want to leave and stop the pain. Please keep looking for the golden ring, and you will find it.