…get drunk. You start early — around three or four PM — and you keep drinking until you fall asleep. The pain comes and goes, in waves. That is one thing you learn about grief. You cannot sustain grief at that pitch. Your body refuses to handle it. And so there are waves, and when the waves are crashing on the beach you cannot do anything but lie on the floor and scream forever and ever inside your head. But then the waves recede, and you are on a quiet beach, where nobody’s around and your head is too tired to have a single thought.