Thank you for being willing to share your story of the two Gavins and your decision to live life NOW. It took me until ten years ago and 70 years of age to figure the same thing out. I found myself dealing with deep anxiety and depression and panic attacks worrying about the future, worrying about being old, sick and poor. After falling apart, I decided I’d have to fix this myself…..and it’s taken ten years, but I did it through a lot of reading and education. Most helpful was a course at the University about the plasticity of the brain. You CAN change those thought processes, but it does take time. I congratulate you on facing this at a much younger age!