I have never been good at following through on commitments.
I don’t finish school assignments on time, deliver the client’s work late, and never get around to doing the things I really want to do. It’s not that I am afraid of committing or that I don’t know what the consequences are.
I like to give the excuse that the stars aligned in such a way as to produce a human being that innately has little grit or motivation: my parents were too lenient, I didn’t have to do any real work early in life, high school was too easy, university wasn’t challenging enough, I was too introverted to share my lack of motivation in any intimate way, dating takes up too much time and energy, I enjoy consuming media too much to quit, I’m scared of wasting time on unworthy pursuits, etc.
Perhaps there is some truth to it. Maybe my own psychological development and circumstances in life have produced a incompetent meat bag that no one should expect anything from. But I know that way of thinking isn’t going to positively change anything.
Self-compassion comes to mind.
I believe this outlet is my first step in a better direction. There is a graveyard of blogs I haven’t kept up with. This baby will not suffer the same fate.