What would help millennials make babies?

It’s not always about the sex hor

I’m a millennial, and we have been exposed to sex ever since we started watching Friends, or even shows like Beverly Hills for those born in the early 1980s.

With the proliferation of the internet during our teens, we probably learnt more about sexual pursuits, conquests and consequences than what our parents would like to know.

Sex in small spaces is not our biggest obstacle to making babies, is this even a challenge in the first place?

Source: tips for you

But as bold as we are about sex, we are pretty chicken about having kids, no?

We can find a thousand and one legitimate reasons not to have kids, such as:

- no space to bring up the kid if I stay with parents

- no money for milk powder, childcare etc

- not interested in parenthood

- no time for sex

- scared kids will derail my career

- scared boss won’t let me take emergency leave if kid is sick

- scared of childbirth

- no family support

- kids are gross

Source: be prepared for this every day
 I used to be like that. Scared of this, scared of that.

I couldn’t get a successful BTO ballot for 2 years, bloody hell.

So I bought a resale flat and never regretted my decision.

And had kids shortly after, quickly raise them while I still have the energy.

Old boss asked me to resign after maternity leave ended, so I just tried my best to find a new job and juggle finances.

But I’ve always wanted kids, so I try my best to make life work around my personal dream to have kids, not the reverse.

Source: the magic number is 2?
 I’m really really lucky that I have flexi-work and can fulfill both my roles as a mum and an employee.

But not everyone has an employer open-minded enough to the needs of young millennial families.

This is what I think Josephine Teo was trying to point out (among other measures to help couples be ready for kids), until sex hijacked her message.

Source: I support the last point!

Josephine Teo has a point about having kids early.

As you age, it really gets harder to have kids.

Source: the longer you wait, the harder it gets

My take is:

- If you plan to have kids, don’t hem and haw.

Plan (like childcare arrangements, finances, health), don’t just talk only.

I have friends who can’t conceive no matter how much they really want a child.

The whole process of seeing doctors, changing lifestyles, paying for artificial insemination, IVF is very very painful, especially for the female.

Source: this is per cycle ok? Not per baby

So if you don’t even need to go through the hassle above to have kids, it’s really a blessing.

- If you never want kids, this conversation isn’t applicable to you in the first place, so don’t get offended ok?


Originally published at Jules of Singapore.

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