Inamorata and Her Swain

all matches burn

OUCH!

That one hurt so I will never open up to another person because I will get hurt. I will miss all the potential happy relationships because I put a coffin around my heart. It will just rot in the darkness, suffocate without air and become so hard that nothing will ever be able to penetrate it. I will become so selfish in my fear of possible pain that I will not let people that love me truly and fully love me. I will just walk away from everyone and everything except my own coffin around my heart. I will become callous. Slowly, slowly, slowly, being poisoned by the darkness and selfishness until it no longer beats….

Then I’ll be good.

Now nobody can NEVER hurt me again

and

..?

love me.

Your heart was once Gold. Pure Gold. You lived in full vitality, bringing everything you touched to life because of the vibrant love that you penetrated everything with. You believed in the goodness. You forgave. You cared, ooh, you cared so much. You lived in constant joy of life, knowing that you’re loved. Everything was possible for you. You saw everything around you in full,rich, bright color instead of grey. You believed in it, it what was called love. You have never seen the other face of it, but you didn’t care as long as you still had it.

Passion. Desire. Joy. Happiness. Love. Carefree. Grace. Trust.

Your heart was pure gold,

until

that person broke it, shattered it, ripped it, and made you bleed inside out. You sat in your room feeling exhausted and empty. Because you let him/her take your heart for return of this. So, you decided that you will never feel like this again. Now, this time, you want to throw it away. To be as far from you as possible because you saw the other face of it. Love. It sets your soul on fire. You put your heart in the coffin and told it bye. It felt dead after that, so you thought it was the best idea.

Now,

Your dog can’t even love you.

Pushing everyone away because you’re soaked in pain from head to toe and this is all you know.

For now.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Interesting, how big vulnerability is. Love will set your soul on fire. I felt so dead for so long that for right now that’s all I want. When you put walls up, you close yourself to everything. To the good and the bad. You start slowly fading out and you soon become like nothing. Not feeling and also affecting those who do feel, only to feel bad. There is a chance to feel pain in everything.

To become more genuinely loving, we have to overcome our laziness and many of our self-preservative tendencies.

Self preservative tendencies. Did you catch that? You can’t be so afraid of it that you start destroying your life. Open up. Rise from the ashes. And set yourself on fire again. To love with such a full vitality that everyone that you love just fans your flames. Let yourself feel. Let yourself love. Because we need both love and pain in order to be balanced. Pain keeps us going and motivates us but love keeps us alive. So love. And let yourself live. Learn from your mistakes but don’t kill yourself and put your heart in a coffin. Vulnerability opens up a different dimension of love and all you have to do is try. Pain is temporary of a momentary love but real flames and good memories are forever.

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Stay connected for more.

Don’t forget your Creator who’s waiting on you.

Be real. Be rare.

Julia Brooker

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