A New Kind of List

This early morning, I find myself again with the opportunity to be renewed. I stretch my limbs tentatively, and crawl towards my windows near the bed. And sit there, finding my life and my self through simple awareness:

My TuneIn radio alarm rouses me gently from dreams and sleep.
My lone candle burning softly.
The birds calling out — the ones that you can only hear at 5 am, without the usual human ruckus.
My morning incense (Vanilla Spice is todays random choice).
My notebook, or my net, poised to catch thoughts I feel the need to unravel.

Obviously, today I felt like a classic Disney princess, sans the birds flying in to dress me after a shower.

I was aware recently that I tend to collect reasons. Reasons to LOVE OR HATE who I am. Reasons to LOVE OR HATE the world and how it works. (I am a listaholic by true nature, so this fits in easily with my day-to-day.)

Trying to unravel a spiral with a doom and gloom tune is hard, especially when hormones, full moon or mercury in retrograde get in the damn way. Or simply when humans, whose behavioral language I cannot seem to understand, also irk me.

Yes, you can relate.

Of course, I want to love. Its the optimistic answer for me. But more than that, I glided over the simple fact that the more love I decide to give away, the more love will eventually return. And this goes past actions and words said to others. What is it that I am saying to myself? How many more reasons will I find to love my life today? I almost feel adventurous in a world I thought I knew. Curiosity is a turn-on. Thinking I know it all is the opposite.

And so, I will continue to angle my own existence through one simple query as often as I can remind myself:


What will yours be?