The topic of parents is probably the unanimous topic that gathers us all under one roof – everybody in this world must fundamentally have a mother and a father to gain existence. No matter how we perceive them, a Japanese Proverb mentions that a father’s virtue is higher than the mountains and a mother’s virtue is deeper than the ocean. This proverb may be subjective based on our perceptions of our parents. We may also be given different levels of parental care during childhoods. Based on the standard plot of two unrelated individuals bringing a new life to this world and the nine torturing months of child bearing without going into excruciating pain of labor, I would say that these first three virtues are enough to make the Japanese proverb long standing.

It was only recently, that I visited a close friend who gave birth to a new baby girl. I was delighted to hold this adorable baby in my arms and see her mother cradle this bundle of pink flesh in her arms like a priceless diamond. As I settled down next to the crib, we went on the topic of her acquired new tasks. On a daily basis, every two hours is a feeding session, the nappy needs to be checked regularly to prevent rashes and most importantly when a baby cries it may indicate an array of things that has gone wrong. For some unknown reason, the mother will know exactly what it is that the baby needs.

When seeing all of this, I couldn’t help but notice my eyes watering and a warm liquid start to run down my face. I started to think of my own parents. They are the people who have remained in my life (and continues to do so) for the longest period of time despite the experiences with them diminishes as I have grown year after year.

The thought of these two old buddies initiated the thought of how it was possible for me to be raised in the most beautiful country in the world - New Zealand while I was originally born in Mainland China. This brought me back to the year 1996, this is the year that a young lad who is a doctor and his wife who is a teacher stared down at their innocent child. This child had a prescribed spectacle of -10 degrees. This child was me, for those who do not know the thickness of a

-10 degrees lens, it is equivalent to the thickness of a classic glass Cocacola bottle. Without these glasses, I would not be able to see 1 metre away in front. During this time, China still had a one-child policy, but because of the severity of my eyes, the government granted these two newlyweds with the opportunity of having a second child. This seems like good news to any new couple that have brought a disabled child to this world, but these words struck like thunder to my parents’ ears. With one calm and firm reply, my mother said: “We brought this kid to this world, it is our responsibility to make this child a happy and excellent individual to bring joy to this world, we do not want to have another child for this reason.”

From that day onwards, my parents would take me to all of the optometrists for fixing my eyes but when all led to disappointment, they decided to take the final leap and that was to immigrate to a western country like New Zealand. They wanted to remove their child away from the grueling competitive environment in China while at the same time allow the child to learn a second language to better her opportunity for the future with a visual disadvantage.

Without a second thought or hesitation, off they went undergoing 1 month of intense English study trainings which gave promises of many sleepless nights filled with English books accompanied by the Oxford dictionary. After my parents have passed the English entry interview to immigrate to New Zealand, they started asking all of their relatives to sponsor them on the cost of travel to New Zealand which they never paid back.

On September 1996, my parents and I set foot on the land of the long white clouds. I would have remembered very little on what it was like back then and the financial struggles they went through as I was only 8 years of age. My parents also never complained to me about this. After 20 years has gone by, when I can put myself in their shoes have I realize how stressful it was for them at that moment in time. During 1996, the currency of NZD conversion to RMB was 1 to 9, this meant that for someone that had no financial income, the price of goods have inflated 9 times. My parents couldn’t even afford salt.

This immediately led my father to look for a job in order to support the basic needs of the family and that is food and shelter. With many years of experience as a surgeon, my father was disapproved to become a doctor in New Zealand because of his difficulties in English. He had to either study for 6 years or reconsider his career. As a result, what was presented to my father was a list of labor intense jobs that got $10 dollar per hour pays such as cleaning, kitchen hand, lawn mower, garbage removal specialist, and the list goes on. My father’s quickly acquired a duo lifestyle of being a bakery kitchen hand by day and a cleaner by night. He had to wake up at 3am every morning and return late at night. What started was a pair soft delicate hands soon to be replaced by numerous burns and cuts. Even till today, I could still see those burn scars which are like tattoos that will remain with him of the rest of his life.

These memories slowly became dormant as I grew older and older, my attentions have redirected to aspirations of achieving success in my career. At times, the thought of calling my parents seemed like a chore to endure. As a famous social reformer - Henry Ward Beecher once mentioned – “We will only know the love of our parents when we become a parent ourselves”. I am still not a parent yet (and can’t see myself a parent for a long long time…), but through my friend’s eyes, I saw what it was like to be a parent, it was not a 5-minute hold of the baby along with numerous selfies.

As a parent, you need to look after this child until they reach the age of 18 by law, however, I can guarantee that this caring have not stopped after the age of 18. We often say that parents are always more ambitious for their child than they are for themselves. As a matter of fact, this comment stands true in my life. This ambition they have is unconditional, no mater how much sacrifice they have made, they would not ask anything from us in return but only to call them from time-to-time which consists of identical conversations of how we are doing or whether we have been eating regularly. This is the kind of love that doesn’t need language or gestures to translate. This is the universal love that has no boundaries and able to crosses every nation. This is the innate love of a mother and father for a new life they have brought to this world. These are the safe pairs of hands that have brought me to this world. It is the simplest and yet most profound love that I will ever receive in this world, in this lifetime.