Hi Ayesha, thanks for responding. As well as writing the blogs it has been good to remember friends who have been with me on this ongoing journey. I have dedicated blogs to over 40 by now and am looking forward to making dedications to another 80 next Ramadan.
You ask me about God-consciousness and, sadly, I am no expert on this. For me it combines — putting God first, struggling with our own ego, listening to God and our own heart (where God/Reality speaks to us), praying, meditating and wrestling with our own desires (nafs), being humble.
All these things begin to lead to real consciousness, ‘certainty’ and a sense of connectedness to other people, in which we also find connection to God. We may still not be sure about God but we will have removed many obstacles and should find ourselves on the side of God — deeply loving and connected, rather than judgemental.