I’m in a very similar dilemma, but doing less about it. I think there;’s only a fe of us that experience this wonderul, playful, ‘naughty’ aliveness… I trhink I know EXACtly what you mean and couldnlt have put it better myself.
I find Yoga & Meditation give Beingness, Richness and also more aliveness, but it is Subtle; with pot, however, it’s is so clear, self-evident!
Bless you and Good-Luck. Please inform us of any personal discoveries, down this line :)