Sex at a Highschool Dance (à la Clockwork Orange)
Well, O my brothers, I reckon I’ll nachinat with the important subjects: the ptitsas. Their platties all showing off their horrorshow groodies and the like, while the malchicks were behind them, making sure the whole world viddied just how horrorshow they could in out in out. All this time the millicents (professors, that is) viddied all of them from above, preventing any snogging or sodding, ready to off to the StaJa (deten, that is) with anyone having any too much fun. Your Humble Narrator, of course, had ittied off and was thoroughly enjoying himself, O my brothers, as a certain molody devotchka who fancied him removed her platties and began to yahzick his yarbles. If the director of the school (or fool as it might be) had viddied what was sloochatting not ten metres from all the other ptitsas and malchicks in the loo, it would be kiss-my-sharries and all, and off to the StaJa with me and my lovely dvotchka. She was a bit pyahnitsa (tipsy that is) but still wouldn’t do the ol’ in-out-in-out, so I made like I weren’t lookin for it neither, but I most certain was. I passed her platties to my droog Odd (thus named because he was not partial to the evens) in the stall next, and he crasted her platties so she’d have no other option than to remain with Y.H.N (my initials, that is. Also conveniently an abbrev for “Your Humble Narrator.”) I tolchocked her on the side of the gulliver and she started to platch, just as I like it. I held her down and started the ol’ in-out-in-out on that dvotchka, as she horned for help, but the zvook of the orgy nearby shut out her screams. Midways through she passed out from the tolchock I’da gaved her, but Your Humble Narrator didn’t mind a might. I just finished up my horrorshow in-out-in-out and wenta get me some milk-plus for peeting.