I Understand You

Imagine a switch. So being understanding rather than being judgemental is like a light switch, and boy, does it hold a beautiful power. There is nothing more compelling in the process of conflict resolution than dropping the “I understand you”-bomb. I firmly believe that we, humans are wired to create, to have good intentions, to be kind. Scratch that. It is not simply my personal belief, it is a fact. Just like every other creature, we harm others only in case we believe that bringing a harm is essential to our survival/well-being or as a flight-or-fight response when we are backed into a corner.

Do you know why psychoanalysis is so helpful? It is because it makes the unconscious conscious, it makes us understand why and what makes us twitch. Understanding is essential to happiness, it helps one to avoid holding grudges. Actions derive from intentions. Grasp this: nobody is there to fuck you over, intentionally.

That one girl speaking not so kindly of you must be feeling hella threatened. Flip that switch. Poor her. That one boy who couldn’t help but let you down over-over-and-over-again. Flip that switch. He acted in accordance to what he thought was right for him, his well-being, and chances are.. for your’s too. Your parents cutting you off, when you are standing not-so-firmly with one foot still in your teens. Flip that switch. Because, my boo, they gotta retire soon and probably still got your student loans hanging like a loose rope around their old necks. My tone might sound superficial. But, hey, whatever makes you flip that switch.