Ammosexuals? You’re scaring me, girlfriend l!
Amber Lisa

You’ve never heard the term “ammosexual” before? People who seem to be sexually oriented towards guns as a proxy for their own phallic insecurity.

The facts are that most crime — property, violent, sexual — is very intra-racial. “I gotta get a gun to protect me!” is bullshit. It’s the same “big black men raping our lily pure daughters” rhetoric used to justify lynchings. I’m far more likely to be raped, robbed, mugged, or ripped off by a white person.

My greatest fear when I’m around black people is that I will be forced to join them for diner and eat. I will likely be called “Auntie Julie” if there are children around. This makes me feel really OLD. And if there are REALLY YOUNG children around I may have them climb up on me and feel my hair.

I don’t need a gun to protect me from that. I need a workout plan.

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