Why do we need friends anyway?

“Why do we need friends anyway?” It’s a question worth pondering. Friendship, often overlooked, is one of life’s most valuable treasures.

While we might crave companionship endlessly, studies show that our social capacity has limits. Researchers have cleverly measured the size of social networks, estimating anywhere from around 250 to a whopping 5,500 connections. For instance, an MIT thesis on Franklin D. Roosevelt hinted that he might have had up to 22,500 acquaintances due to his highly social role. When it comes to closer friendships, a study using Christmas card exchanges as a gauge found that the average person’s inner circle is around 121 people.

But despite the breadth of our networks, our close-knit circles are typically much smaller. On average, people trust only 10 to 20 individuals. This number appears to be dwindling over time, with reports showing a decrease from an average of three confidants to two between 1985 and 2004. This decline is troubling because social solid bonds are linked to longer lifespans.

So, what can you do if your social life feels lacking? Research provides some insight. Firstly, don’t underestimate the power of casual connections. Even interactions with weak ties can positively impact well-being. Secondly, nurturing deeper friendships takes time. A study from the University of Kansas suggests it takes roughly 50 hours of socialising to progress from acquaintance to casual friend, an additional 40 hours to solidify that friendship, and a total of 200 hours to become close friends.

Feeling overwhelmed? Reviving old friendships can be incredibly rewarding. Reconnecting with old mates often leads to a swift rebuilding of trust, coupled with the excitement of catching up on each other’s lives. And if all else fails, consider opening up to those you don’t know well. Sharing personal experiences makes us more likable, and in turn, we’re more inclined to like those who reciprocate vulnerability. So, whether it’s strengthening existing bonds or forging new connections, investing in friendships is always worth it.

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