The only way I can speak to this is at the level of the soul. As soul, you made a contract for abuse in order to meet it in a new way — In order to step up and say NO. To step out of victimhood, which is a choice and say yes to yourself. Your relationship with yourself must come first. Learing to love yourself, must come first, at whatever cost. Telling your parents seems irrelavant to learning to love yourself. In fact, it brings he risk of them telling you that you were making it up so that they won’t have to face the ugly facts that were right in their fucking faces and that they were not there to protect you. I also signed up for abuse and sat in victmhood for many years until I went through the same cycle many times and until I saw that it was a choice. I am still draw to abuse, and others that abuse are drawn to me. But I do say No to them and Yes to myself. I find myself able to love myself unconditionally, even though I also never achieved my brightest potentials during my lifetime. What’s most important is what’s inside. You’re a great writer. that’s a talent that nobody can take away from you. Write from the inside and you may start learning to love yourself.