Stories of guys who did the right thing
- I was eating in the outside part of a restaurant and a man from the street approached me to “get my information for a job opportunity” which he then used to ask me out. I knew that was his intention, but I was tired, so I gave him one of my junk email addresses to satisfy him. As soon as the man approached though, my waiter noticed and came outside to check on me. Without drawing the attention of the creepy man, he mouthed to me “are you ok?” I nodded to him, he left and then he came back one more time to check on me when he saw the man was still there. Afterwards he told me he was happy to kick the guy out if I had needed it. It meant so much to me.
- Once in high school in jazz band, I bent over to pick up my trumpet off the ground. One of the other trumpet players yelled out to the whole class to turn around and get a glimpse down my shirt. (I was wearing an athletic, loose-fitting, high neck T-shirt by the way… like the free kind you get when you tour a college). Immediate my other friend rebuked him: “WHAT. NOT OKAY. That’s not okay, Julie should be respected and not feel threatened here and you should apologize.” I felt relief.
- My dad recognized that his workplace is majority male right now, so he organized a meeting specifically to hear from the women he works with how working in a majority-male environment affects them and to find out if there’s anything he can do to help. He asked me too if I experience regular harassment and he took me seriously when I said “yes absolutely every day.” I felt understood.
- My friend at church told me to always call him if I ever feel unsafe walking inside from my car when Nathan is not available to walk with me, and he would drop everything, no questions asked. I felt protected.
- My husband listened to my stories and became passionate about empowering women through his photography. He wasn’t just trying to please me, he actually decided to care about the issue and do something himself. I felt empowered.
- I reported harassment at work and while my boss blew me off, another male staff member took me seriously, expressed genuine concern and checked in with me periodically after that to make sure I was ok. I felt safer.
- Several of my male friends in college went out of their way a hundred times to make sure my female friends and I never walked across campus alone at night. I felt valuable.
- One of my friends said “Thank you so much for telling me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to accommodate and make sure you feel safe,” and then genuinely followed through on that, when I was hesitant to join the shoot because of a potential trigger. I felt validated.
- The host of a party believed me when I reported harassment and said he will make sure the person who harassed me isn’t welcome again. I felt protected.
I plan to add to this list as I think of more.
