Our Racist & Sexist Blaming Culture & How Trump Lets Us Off The Hook

She was drunk. He had drugs in the car. They smoked weed.

First, for context, this sexist & racist listicle of excuses, gross generalizations, character smears and victim blaming is the article I wrote a week before PussyGate. It wasn’t even about Trump, it was hearing, yet again, the immediate victim blaming of black people shot by police and how it’s exactly what’s done to sexual assault and rape victims…

She was drunk. He was drunk
He had drugs in the car. She had drugs in her system. They smoked weed.

Women are tempting.
Black men are menacing.
She was showing cleavage
He was wearing a hoodie
She was dressed provocatively.
They wear baggie or “sagging” pants. (LAPD Site: “How to ID Gangs”)

She kissed him, danced with him.
He was suspended from school.
She was flirting with him, was all over him.
He listened to rap music. Which provides insight to his state of mind.*

*Do you watch Game of Thrones? Does that mean you have violence and rape coursing through your brain? And white people who listen to rap? Does skin color magically protect them from lyrics affecting their state of mind?

She went home with him.
Police released video of him shoplifting before the ‘incident’. 
They’ve had sex before
There was a robbery days ago by a black man also with “a wide nose”.
She’s loose / a slut.
He’s had run ins with the law / He has a record.
She’s no angel. She’s not the victim she claims to be — not a virgin. 
He’s no angel.

Why couldn’t you just keep your knees together / bite him /fight him off?

Why didn’t he do exactly what police ordered?

Our promiscuous culture is the real issue.
Thug culture is the real issue.

I thought she liked it because she rubbed my back.
His leg moved provocatively.

Oral sex is not rape if victim is too unconscious from drinking. (Ruling)
The four officers would later claim self-defense, claiming their lives were in danger from (Rodney) King.

20 minutes of action shouldn’t ruin my son’s life.
We can’t condemn the officers.

She wasn’t upset enough. She must be lying.
Blacks riot (not because they’re upset) but because they’re told to feel sorry for themselves unlike Asians who work “doubly hard”. (Duke Professor)

Because the woman feels horrible about herself, the man must suffer too.
Black people hate white people because they’re successful and they’re not.

*Yes rape and regret both start with the letter “R” but no they are NOT the same thing. Black people don’t hate their “inferiority”, they hate being shot.*

Women have only themselves to blame.
Blacks have only themselves to blame.

Going down this rabbit hole, gathering things people have said after assaults on women and black men (no not back in the 1950s, all in the last couple of years) sadly was an endless procedure that also led to shockingly sexist and racist web sites blaming everything except the perpetrators of assault. For just a tasting, go to the comments after this article, and this one.

The article for me was more about race. There was always massive outrage after stupid excuses for sexual assault (“legitimate rape”, Brock Turner, etc.). Why was the outrage for stupid excuses about black shooting victims so muted that I had to go looking for it rather than seeing it everywhere? Why was it mainly only coming from other black people like John Legend? Why were the stupid excuses not just coming from idiots who everyone could immediately flame but from mainstream media outlets, too?

My mom said while she was watching coverage of the Terence Crutcher and shootings, she wondered if things would be different when Mo was older? (I have a black son who turns 3 in 3 days). I asked her if things felt different 50 years after she participated in the civils right movement? Or are there just more cameras to capture what black people have been saying for decades?

I’ll admit I was nervous to write about race because I don’t know a black person’s experience. Who was I to talk about it? Yes I have a black son, but he’s a toddler, so isn’t that like saying I have black friends? Because right now all the remarks are about his cuteness, I don’t know yet what it’s going to be like when he becomes a “scary black man”. But then I read this and was ashamed I hesitated:

“Black people can shout to the mountaintops that they’re being unjustly killed by police, but we can’t end this without help. Black people make up just 13 percent of America. Eighty-three percent of the people who make our laws are white. I’m not saying white people are or should be our saviors, but it would be foolish to think we can correct this problem without changing some people’s minds. If white parents had to live with the same fears and worries for their kids once they left their presence as black parents do, this would have ended a very long time ago.”

And I had been having those fears and feeling crazy for having them. When the pediatrician says he’s in the 95th% for weight/height and parents at his nursery school comment how he’s the youngest in the class but is as big as the 5 year olds, I find myself hoping he doesn’t grow as big as Eric Gardner, Michael Brown or Terence Crutcher.

Regardless of size, I wonder when will he go from adorable toddler to scary black man? He loves his little hoodies, when do I make him ditch those and wear 3 piece suits? Will I have the money to buy him a nice car so he doesn’t “look” like a hoodlum driving through the suburbs? Wait, if he’s in a nice car, will they think he’s a drug dealer?

Trump and Pussygate happened. Here was a “leader” — a presidential nominee who up until this point had almost half the country’s support and who embodied the sexist and racist listicle I was compiling with an equally long listicle of his own. How could I weave him in to bring more attention to the above? *We’ll get to the problem with that in a minute.

So I pivoted and started writing “50 Ways To Blame Another”.

No matter what I’ve done to women, Bill Clinton’s done worse.
No matter what police do to blacks, blacks do worse to each other…

Photo Mashup:; Modifictions (bubbles) not endorsed

Women get assaulted… because they’re put around men.

Blacks get assaulted by police… because they live around blacks*. 
*And every black is responsible for all black crime.

I exist therefore I am… a reasonable target for assault. 
-Descartes (if he were black or female)

To avoid rape, don’t go to parties or the military. Slip out the back, Jack(ie)!
If you want to stop police assaults, stop black crime. Make a new plan, Stan!

When you’re a star they let you do it. 
Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything. 
No need to be coy, Roy!

Photo: Ad New York Times

Those (innocent) boys should be executed but Mike Tyson should go free because his fights could make a tremendous amount of money for rape victims (I know because they make a tremendous amount of money for me).

If you rape but make me money… Just get yourself free!

Trump says Tyson told him: “She wanted it real bad.” 
Trump: “She knocked on his door at 1 a.m. and was up and dancing at eight the next morning.”
Trump: “To get four, five, or six years, I think that there was just too many circumstances. Again, she was in a beauty contest. She was dancing with a big smile on her face at 8:00 a.m.”

Photograph: Richard Drew/AP

“African-Americans, Hispanics are living in hell because it’s so dangerous. You walk down the street (in the inner city), you get shot.”

“He looks like he’s up to no good or on drugs or something. It’s raining and he’s just walking, looking about.” (Hint: Not in the inner city)

Hop on the bus, Gus!

Trump/Carson Photo: TJ Hawk Modification (bubbles) not endorsed; Zimmerman/Trayvon photo:

Being a rape victim is now a coveted status.

“Black Lives’ blood libel is sustained by portraying black street predators like Michael Brown, Eric Garner and Freddie Gray, who died resisting arrest, as civil rights martyrs.”

The above quote is from Breitbart news. Sound familiar? It’s chairman was brought in to run Trump’s campaign.

“Being a rape victim has become cool since the feminist victimization trend has reached a peak. It got so bad that the social justice narrative drivers needed there to be more rapes on the books.”

Newt: “Watch and see how many people die in Chicago this week with no one noticing because they don’t fit the current left wing political mantra.”

You don’t need to discuss much! 
Because all this talk of female or black assault victims is just a left wing conspiracy.

Racism doesn’t even exist anymore according to Breitbart (reminder: its chairman was brought in to run the Trump campaign), Progressives are just making it up to fan the flames:

“Even as progressives prosecute this race war, racial bigotry by whites has ceased to be a factor in public life. Progressives deal with this intractable reality by inventing a fictional construct called “institutional racism” to which they attribute all the disparities affecting blacks. “Institutional racism” is a necessary fiction — institutionalized racism has been outlawed for sixty years — because actual racists have become so hard to find.”

Okay enough of the crazy…

Because focusing on the crazy is the problem. Trump and people like him are a spectator sport. Everyone can sit back — myself included — and get morally outraged. See, they’re the problem.

The more shocked we became that almost half the country supported him, that oh my god he might become President, the more it showed how much we’re not like him and his supporters.

When really isn’t it scarier that we were so naive as to be shocked? So sheltered?

Black America hasn’t been shocked by the racism his candidacy has dredged up. Rape victims aren’t shocked when they see a woman blamed for her rape.

Trump lets us off the hook. The more of a spectator sport it becomes, the more it allows us to be indignant couch potatoes. Arm-chair critcs. We’re not leading toward any kind of goal. We’re not doing sh*t. I’m not doing sh*t.

And I agree with Abby Norman, we should be more afraid of Trump supporters than Trump. Because they’ll still be around after Trump leaves the stage.

But maybe we should be more afraid of our own inaction. Because he’s allowed us to blame Another.

And, as every girl in junior high knows, it’s easier to escape detection if there’s another lightening rod — someone else for everyone to eviscerate.

So what will we DO once he’s gone?

If we just say, “Phew, that was a close call, all is right with the world, now we can get back to our lives”

Then Trump and this shit show of an election will truly have no redeeming qualities.

Please click the green heart button below if you found this article interesting, as recommends are only way to get it into other readers’ feeds. Thank you!