Don't Ever Lower your Standard for People
As a child, I liked to see many classic romantic movies that show love stories about two couples, the rich and the poor. Unconsciously, this affects the social inequality in our society. I don’t know why the most romantic movie have storyline like that. In my kid era, I’ll said that it’s kinds of pure love because they are not based on material things like money or social class. The couple will live happily ever after. However, when I entered high school, I said, "Idiot! No one will do that!". In our modern society, people believe that getting married or finding a partner must be on a social level to hinder a sensitive issue between them and avoid long-term negative impacts on their family. Of course, the reasons arise from various factors such as personal background, environment, family, habits, and even mindset. Beyond a myth, in my experience so far, I’ve come across many relationships that fail because the two people are not on the same level. Two weeks ago, one of my friends told me about his experience on his first date with fucking crazy rich woman he met from Bumble. After dating, he came home with an annoyed face as if he was sarcastic. After all, he told me the girl he met from dating apps was very spoiled and couldn’t eat at a roadside stall because she thought the place was dirty and uncomfortable being there. Of course, he felt insulted. They are also often disconnected in chats and have different jokes when they meet. Not rarely, but there is also an accidental cold war over something unclear and being sensitive to each other. In the end, they stopped citing the incompatibility between the two.
Almost the same thing has been happening to me lately. I was close to someone who I thought we were equal on an economic level. So far as we've been dating, there has been no problem with money or material measurement. But, at one moment, I confessed my feelings to that person because I thought this was the right time after we'd been in a relationship without status for almost four months. Seeing the obscurity and the storyline stuck spinning in one place gave me the courage to confess my true feelings to that person for several months. I want to express my interest and love to that person without any expectations. However, the answer from that person left me speechless.
"I don't think I can be with you in a serious relationship because I'm so insecure about your achievements and work at such a young age."
"I'm totally insecure with you. I think we can't make it."
I was quite silent for a while and re-digested the meaning of the words. Have you ever felt in a position of being in the wrong place for no reason or forced to be in the wrong place because of your actual existence or origins? Like the sentences above, I still don't get it. Am I wrong for having my job now? Am I wrong to have an environment with the condition of my friendship right now? Am I wrong to be in this position? After digesting the sentence more deeply, it created turmoil and confusion even more in my head, so I didn't even know how to respond. But guys, after I write this Medium, even when you read this sentence, I found one thing, which will be my extensive advice to you. So, if you have ever been in that condition, please run off that situation.
Let go of that fucking insecure person that made you feel sorry about yourself because you don’t deserve it. It’s not your fault for being a great person. It’s their mindset fault that they are anxious of yourself, and people who care about you will not be jealous, feel intimidated, or feel they compete with you. So, it’s wrong. All the scenario here is false. So don’t allow yourself to be weak and forced to be the lowest within you, let alone say to that person, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” or you make up the narrative to say that that person is better than you. Like you are in denial, guys!!! Don’t do stupid things for people. This doesn't seem right since day one. And please highlight that your demeaning effect will be harmful in the long run. Just simply put, it is not that person. They do not deserve you, and vice versa. Don’t let people stick you to grow. Just don’t. Don’t let them ask you to beg because of their personal insecurity things. Like, man, stop! Let go of that person and have another one better. At least keep your standard right now. Know your place. Know your existence. Know your phase. Don’t let that sort of thing hinder what you’ve built. Choose yourself, not someone else.
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Jule in the sky (Julsky)
