Interest: The theory of Everything!
“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to feel important.” said John Dewey, an American philosopher, psychologist, and educational reformer.
The person standing with this play card is every one of us. All of us want to feel important. We love to be with the people who make us feel important. We try to escape the gatherings where we feel ourselves insignificant. We love to talk and listen about ourselves. It’s not about you, it’s not about me, it’s about every single human being on earth. Therefore, making other feel important is the only way to win them. An easiest way to do this is showing interest in them.
People are not interested in you. They’re interested in themselves — Dale Carnegie
I am not as thoughtful to understand all this on my own. I obviously am getting inspiration from the most effective author and corporate trainer of all times, Dale Carnegie In one of his best sellers, “How to win friends and influence people”, he writes about the fascinating outcomes of showing interest in others. However, he do emphasize on taking genuine interest in others instead of just showing interest for the sake of personal benefits by saying:
A show of interest, as with every other principle of human relations must be sincere. It must pay off not only for the person showing the interest, but for the person receiving the attention. It is a two-way street-both parties benefit.
Deeply moved by Mr. Carnegie’s magical words and experience, I decided to put it into practice. As the team of Amal Academy suggested, I had to spend a day asking about others and avoid talking about myself. It looked like a piece of cake but proved to be a tough row to hoe. That very day, I realized how much I talk about myself.
I spent the whole day trying to ask things about people around me. There was a clear difference in their response, their attitude. Asking just a few simple questions make them feel energetic. It resulted in a positive aura and I got surprised by the importance of showing interest in others.
But not all the people were same. I applied this practice to one of my friends too. Instead of being energetic, he seemed astonished.
Confused by my new behavior, he asked “ What’s the occasion? Why are you acting like this?”
It was hard for me to decide whether to answer his question or be ashamed of my inadequate approach towards people. I smiled to overcome my embarrassment and told him that it was just a regular talk and I was asking about his activities and interests just because I had noticed we scarcely talked about him. Well, it wasn’t the reality. I was doing it just to complete one of the projects assigned to me. I thought for a moment, how selfish I was. I had never shown genuine interest in him. He was the person I usually spend time with regularly. I could sense how disappointed he was by my behavior.
Some tiny moments in your life teach you more than a thousand books.
That was the moment when I realized how much difference can I make. That was the moment when I decided to change my approach towards him, towards all of them. I decided to overcome my urge to feel important and fulfill the same desire of others. I decided to be a person who makes people feel important, who makes people important!