Alternative Healing for Grief
Asking the spirits for answers after losing a loved one
In the immediate aftermath of my mom’s death, I saw a counselor for talk therapy. I had emailed this counselor from my mom’s hospice bed the day she died. The end was near and certain, but we didn’t know when; in my first email to the counselor, I said I needed help processing my mom’s terminal illness. By the time she emailed back, I was able to reply with updated goals: I needed to process my mom’s death. Her response was sweet and reassuring, and well, I was desperate. I didn’t have an existing relationship with a therapist, and I needed one, badly, immediately.
I saw the counselor for about two months. I’m sure she got me through the first few terrible weeks of grief, but as I began to emerge from my fuzzy, buzzing cocoon of shock and sadness, I decided she wasn’t the best fit for me. A result of watching someone die is, naturally, a newfound awareness of your own mortality, of the body’s ability to just destroy itself. The quickness with which tragedy can strike, unfairly, arbitrarily, is suddenly very clear and present. I was feeling a total loss of control, and realizing that I was never, ever in control. My counselor just didn’t seem to know how to deal with someone dealing with this.
