How To Achieve Clarity NOW
I listen to people for a living, and guide them towards their dream goals. Sounds pretty simple, right? On most days, it is super easy because I love listening to stories from fellow human beings. Because it’s always beautiful! Sometimes, people tell their stories in hushed tones filled with guilt and shame. At other times, it lights them up and they are filled with joy. There are also times when the real story is in what they are NOT saying. My job is to be with them, get to their truth, shine the spotlight on it and reflect it to them. Shine and reflect that they see it for themselves— because that’s why they come to me; so that they can get on or stay on the path to being true to themselves.
If you are laughing at this and think “what kind of st*pid people need to pay someone to listen to their BS?”, guess what - one day you could find yourself hiring me to do just that for you. Maybe you won’t. Either way, it’s okay. Let’s not judge each other. Peace to you.
In my line of work, honesty is an occupational hazard. It causes discomfort in my relationships with myself and others. Because it does get f*cking tough holding up that mirror — to be a true Coach, you have shine that huge-a$$ mirror on yourself and others. Otherwise, that’s just plain hypocrisy. The mirror is almighty — it never lies. As much as it shines the light on beauty, it also reflects the not-so-pretty bits. Those icky bits that make us uncomfortable in our own skin. Those less-than-perfect dark bits that we wish weren’t there but are so expertly concealed that perhaps no one would notice it — we hope.
I hate to rain on anyone’s parade, but even if they are capable of camouflaging their BS beyond physical recognition, know that no amount of Kim Kardashian-esque contouring or poo-pourri will be able to hide the undeniable stink — at least not for long. Because it can’t stand the heat; eventually, it will give itself away.
Here’s an example of BS aka Lies we tell ourselves that I heard recently:
“Our dreams changed. I used to dream of being an actor. But the life of an actor was never going to give me the lifestyle I wanted do I made a change and now we are happier.”
Let’s break this down:
- Ask yourself what stories you’re telling yourself/others with regard to the topic in question you’re seeking clarity on.
“Our dreams changed. I used to dream of being an actor. But the life of an actor was never going to give me the lifestyle I wanted do I made a change and now we are happier.”
2. Break the story down.
“Our dreams changed. (Did the dream change, or did you change your choice. And why?)
I used to dream of being an actor. (Keyword: Actor)
But the life of an actor was never going to give me the lifestyle I wanted do… (Notice the tension happening right here: Actor lifestyle vs Some other lifestyle in mind)
… I made a change and now we are happier.” (Ok. So this person chose a different lifestyle instead of following his/her original dream and is happier for now.)
I’m willing to bet that one day, this “lifestyle” he/she chose so that he/she can be “happier” will be the very thing that makes her unhappy. Because deep down, he/she knows he/she traded his/her passion for something else. Passion never goes away. It gets buried when it isn’t given space to grow. But that’s a whole other topic which warrants another post in itself.
3. Ask yourself what the story gives you. And also, what does it trade away? Is that really okay for you? Be present to it. Be honest with yourself.
Clarity is always within you. It sits right there waiting for you to be ready to face it. But if you are so entrenched in bullshit, it blocks the path to your truth. It’s really easy to access your truth and get that clarity right this very second. There’s a whole world within yourself that has so much to offer you. Where the future is so f*cking bright, and your laughter will ring true for all to hear. Maybe that’s the enlightenment people speak of. Give it a shot. And tell me all about it. I’m all ears!
