WHO DO I THINK I AM…? (Part 1)
“An unconditional Art Lover. Art is everywhere, ART is LIFE. I was born in Cameroon, a western African country; I lived there up to 4 years old then I moved to France and grew up in the suburbs of Paris for quiet a while. Now I’m based in London where creativity explodes every second. From an early age, ART made my Heart & Soul shimmer. It is an uncredible and unspeakable feeling. I started to sing when I was around 9 years old, listening to the band FM. All I wanted to do was putting my ears near the speaker, listening closely to the melody and lyrics and try to sound the same. I started with Motown, Nina Simone, classic french songs (Dalida, Aznavour, Céline Dion, Charles Trenet, Jean-Jacques Goldman…), then with the time I discovered HIP-HOP culture; I danced, I dressed-up, I rapped… Naaa the last one is a lie haha. I tried and keep trying though. It was the 90’s, and all about it from my point of view, was fantastic. At the age of 14 I discovered “Theater” and fell literaly in love with this discipline. I felt like I was truly myself on stage, even when I was interpreting a character, I felt deeply connected with it. As a Film Lover, I had this big DREAM of becoming an actress. I used to spend my Wednesday afternoon watching every Jean-Claude Van Damme’s movie’, Bruce Lee, Brad PITT. Oh yes “FOREVER BRAD” (We will talk about this addiction later…).
Back then in the movie Industry in France, not a lot of Black women were having a lead role; it was just the traditional ones (migrant, maid…) It stills quiet the same actually but I believe we’re getting there… I believe… One day, a girl during a Holiday trip when I was 16 years old asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up; I said:”actress”, she replied immediately & instinctively:”but you can’t, you’re black!” Deep inside, I was devastated cause the sound of her words sounded so truthful that “I “became what she said to me that day. A Black girl who can’t do a lot of things due to her skin status. It was one of first moment I knew I was “black”. Until this moment I was just “me”. I kept on doing my acting but just as a passion “knowing” that I couldn’t go further then that. Mainly, because when you’re a foreigner teen and you know how your parents struggle to get you where you are, saying “Mum I’m gonna become an actress” was like insulting her and her story… Yeah I know this is my Life and blablabla, but then, IT WAS HERS! Hahaha.
I learnt my lesson and I blessed this girl who taught it to me. She was just a mirror of our society (culture, education). Now I am in a state where I understand that my innner world is creating my outter world. My thoughts are creating, manifestating MY REALITY, and NO ONE has the power over me unless I let an open door to it.
Art is my WEAPON.
Against what you will ask? Against the heaviness that Life sometimes can bring. I am a positive person but I understand that it’s ok to not feel ok some days. It’s ok to have doubts, fears, lack of self-confidence. But for me, we don’t have to stay for too long in this state of mind, we need to get back on track as fast as we can cause no one will do it for us.
On the tough days when I feel the gravity so intensely, all I wish is for someone to come and push me towards the destination where I’m supposing to head. Does it happen? Naaaa. I pushed myself! Or wait another one: I wish to snap my fingers and… be in my bed!!! Hahaha!
Am I the only one wishing to have this Supapower? “