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If Cupid was more like Santa, Valentine’s Day might not be so hard. If we were all watching for Cupid flitting through the clouds shooting arrows on Valentine’s Eve, we’d have more reason to realize we’ve been lied to about love.

Instead, the myths about love go unchallenged until romances fall apart. And when they do people often blame themselves, not the myths.

Would you blame yourself if Santa didn’t stuff your stocking as an adult? Of course not! And yet many blame themselves when love doesn’t magically appear. Or when it doesn’t last forever.

How individuals blame themselves is based on the cultural biases they inherited in childhood. The subconscious holds onto childhood beliefs until cognitive dissonance requires an examination of the facts. When it comes to love, people go into the world of romance as naive as children who still believe in Santa. …

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