I got all I need when I got you and I.

Officially together with my best friend after 3 months of crazy ups and downs. It took me 3 whole months to realize that he is the only person who makes me laugh so much. He is the only person who actually check up on me the moment I started working. I’ve hurt him a lot in the past 3 months. I left him plenty of times despite promising that I won’t. (Tadaaaaaaaa……I know I’m a bitch like that.) But he still stuck by my side.

There was a period of time I didn’t talk to him. But somehow, just by listening to the things he say is able to make me laugh. Avoiding him was so easy until I realize feelings start to grow and it start to hurt a little too much till I broke down in the shop while working with him. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, no? Hahaha……..I’m so funny………

Fast forward and everything was sort of falling into place. Until my ex decides to make an appearance and I don’t know. I guess the only reason why I went back to him was because that was all I wanted ever since he left. Which is to come back so I could be ‘home’ again. I thought I was home but something felt a miss. And once again that ‘hurt’ starts to come back but I shrugged it off. I wanted so much to let myself believe I’m happier but ‘home’ doesn’t feel like home anymore and I asked him to drop me and so he did.

I thought of all the times Akid made me laugh, got my mind off of things. I was at peace and I was home (can you guys believe it? i settled down and finally made a home out of someone’s heart and got all cozied up). I was nothing but a happy child with him around. I was Everyone would know if we’re on bad terms because we wouldn’t be talking as much or wouldn’t be talking at all. Plus the boy is a rather expressive person so you could probably see it in his face that he’s unhappy with something. But whatever it was, that was a few weeks ago.

For the past 3 months, I realized he likes to carik pasal a lot. But some people likes to carik pasal with him also and each time that happens, I’ll make sure that he ignores them. I don’t understand why people would push his buttons like that but that’s alright. He’s controlling his rage pretty well and I’m very proud of him. Also, I don’t really care what people say about him — you can tell me he’s broken hearts before or he’s broken arms before. I can’t be bothered with all of that because I only save my care and concern to people who deserves them.

Plus for someone who is unhappy most of the time, this guy sure knows his way around to putting happiness in my life and he does it so effortlessly and that’s how I know he’s worth keeping. And he sings too so that’s a huge bonus seeing how much I wanted to date someone who can sing ever since I realized how hot Zac Efron was (and still am) in HSM2 (I was primary 5 lol). I don’t know if it’s some lame shit but music is a wonderful thing that connects people. I’ve a playlist of songs that he always sings and idk about him but I always add songs in them. It’s just me telling him “hey I listened to this and it reminded me of you, please listen to it.”

Hooooooooly I just realized how long this med is. Fuck I am so very in love with him and it’s scary because I’m in love with my best friend. The kind of best friend where both of you are best friends waaaaaaaay before you got together. Not the vice versa kind. And the last time this happened I lost my best friend. I was 17 and I spiralled down into sadness and fucked myself up so bad. So I’m pretty much hoping it wouldn’t happen again. Akid kept saying how he doesn’t wanna lose me but I don’t know. I’ve never actually had people losing me for real because I end up coming back. And I don’t know where this is going………….but all I know is I’m in love with my best friend, he makes me frickin happy and that is all that matters.

If no one is able to see him the way I could, the way he could be better with just a little help and less condemning and downgrading, then screw you guys. He doesn’t need you. Sorry idk where that came from lol I love you amirul akid (so very much)