Our decision to adopt

I married the man of my dreams 5 years ago, in November 2010. About 2 years later we faced the possibility that we might not be able to have biological children due to medical reasons. We were both still in our 20’s and not in a rush to expand our family beyond our fur-babies (three dogs and a cat would already be too much for many people). We knew we wanted kids “one day”, and decided that if it came to it, we would happily adopt. Luckily everything turned out okay and we were on track again to have our biological children “one day”.

Even though we thought at this point that we wouldn’t have to adopt to have kids, I never stopped thinking about it and the idea really grew on me. Does it really matter whether or not our kids look like us and share our DNA? We were willing to adopt if we had no other choice, so why not do it now? I couldn’t find a reason why a biological child would be better than an adopted child. Yes, we would face challenges that we wouldn’t have to otherwise, but having a biological child doesn’t mean that you won’t have any issues. My own childhood was definitely not a challenge-free experience for anyone involved. I was actually hoping that if we got pregnant, our child would be more like my husband than like me.

I kept bringing up the subject of adoption, and after a couple of years of discussing this with my husband, we decided that we would have one biological child and adopt our second child.

Things don’t always work out the way you planned it though. After trying to get pregnant for a while we realized that I have some complications, and getting pregnant would most likely be a long, expensive and stressful experience. Knowing that, it didn’t take us long to change our plans and start the adoption process. We feel that our energy and money will be better spent on raising a child, than on slightly increasing our chances of getting pregnant.

After sharing our exciting decision with friends and family I have heard more than a few times what wonderful people we are for wanting to adopt a child, giving him or her all the opportunities that they wouldn’t otherwise have had. Yes, we did think of that when we made our decision. There are thousands of children in our country who do not have mommies and daddies to raise and love them, and that breaks my heart, but this wasn’t why we made the decision to adopt. We want to be parents, we want to hold that tiny human in our arms, see our baby smile, give and receive a million hugs and kisses, encourage him or her to try new things, share our knowledge and teach them skills that will help them to grow into well-rounded adults. I wouldn’t have wanted to adopt a child if I didn’t want to have a child in my life.

I am doing this for me.

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