Her too?

We’ve all been there — the day you logon to Facebook and see that someone else just got engaged or married and you just gasp, wonder what the hell is wrong with the world, wonder what you did to deserve this, then start to calm down and remember that things aren’t so bad. You’re a hard working independent woman that won’t settle for anything less than perfect — but maybe you are too picky, ok maybe we work on that this year, be less picky. Ok totally cool, it’s ok, life will go on.

And honestly, it will. I have been there, I think we all have. Now that we have access to so much information thanks to social media it’s hard not to know what’s going on in everyone else’s lives, but that’s the thing — social media is selective. People usually only put the great, really good stuff on there. No one’s going to share a post saying ‘Goddamn here I am, another year of not paying off my student loans and now I’m at $35,789.03 to go’ right? I’ve never seen someone be like ‘Shit I just screwed up big time at work and now my boss wants to set up a one on one meeting with me.’ You’re never going to see those things — but that’s part of reality too, we just have to remember that.

I actually chose to delete/deactivate my account because I found myself caring too much about all these random people who I’m not even friends with. To each his or her own. For me, for what I want to do in my life, I’m not doing so bad. I mean, I’d love to be making a bit more money, maybe be a little more senior in my job — but it will come, with time and hardwork.

It’s so funny because while growing up as an American of Indian heritage the thought of being married or having an arranged marriage was something we all (I think) worked so hard to run away from. None of us wanted that because we saw our Moms and Aunts get married at pretty young ages and it was the complete opposite of what we wanted. We wanted to get a good education, work on our own, pay our own bills and make a place for ourselves, as individuals, in the world. And of course the whole finding a soulmate thing — no matter how long it takes.

It’s just that now, we realize that it could take a lot longer than we had hoped. Now, we find ourselves in the whole cliche of ‘it’ll happen when you least expect it,’ or ‘don’t worry the perfect guy is out there.’ And while it’s great that people want to motivate you and comfort you it’s also good to remember that this is real life, and honestly you should have a contingency plan in case you never meet anyone, because that could be the case too.

I don’t want to come off as negative but that’s the truth. There are no guarantees in life and there’s no guarantee that all of us definitely will find someone. And even though you see that so and so got engaged on Facebook — the only part of that relationship that we see is the physical ring — we don’t see anything beyond that, the compatibility, the love, it could be there, but maybe it’s not, you just never know for sure.