DO YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WORRYING?
YES! AND IT’S NOT FAIR!
Do you ever consider why you might not be able to easily find the solution to life’s stresses and concerns?
Would you rather live with those worries, or find a way to alleviate them?
I used to suffer life’s worries, but then I came across a very effective way to get to the root of my concerns and this enabled me to focus in on better solutions
What did I discover?
CAUSE AND EFFECT!
It sounds simple! One action leads to another action, or put another way one action (the cause) will result in another action (the effect)
One way you can think of this is if you turn a tap (the cause), the effect is, usually, water coming out of the tap. Or, as in the picture, push on one domino and . . .
How then, can you apply “cause and effect” to your own problems and use it to find solutions to ease life’s worries
We need a real-life example:
Let’s say you’ve woken up stressed, this can be quite common, perhaps you lost sleep due to your worries?
Do you just put up with it, just live with it and go through your day stressed? Too many of us do!
Or, do you quickly consider why you are stressed and put it down to, say, being under pressure at work?
And what is your solution?
Coffee? Chocolate? Comfort food? Anger? Frustration?
What might happen if you stopped in that moment, reflected, and started to ask yourself the real source of the stress
Let’s say, you’re right and it is because you feel under pressure at work. You may find it easier to work with this method if you write it down as you’re going through the steps to get to the root cause and potential solutions to your particular worry or worries. Deal with one at a time!
Let’s move on with our example:
What does “under pressure” actually mean?
There could be many explanations as to what is meant by “under pressure”, but let’s select a common one — you’ve a deadline to meet!
Right, you’ve a deadline and you feel under pressure to meet that deadline. Why?
Remember, you’re looking for the cause of your stress — the real, underlying cause, so “Why?” is the right question to ask yourself
Why does the deadline make you feel under pressure?
You might say, “I don’t have enough time”. But, what does that mean? Do you really not have enough time or do you not have all the resources you need? “Why?” is the question to ask and to keep asking
Let’s say you really don’t have enough time during the working day, there’s just too much work for one person, for you, and it’s not due to your lack of skill or resources (with the exception perhaps of having a deputy you could delegate to! Wouldn’t that be heaven if it were true!)
Now we’re getting somewhere, we might have the underlying cause of your stress, we can ask another why question as in “Why is there not enough time?”, but if we fail to find an answer, another underlying cause, then we can consider that lack of time is the cause of our stress
Really? The cause?
IS IT TIME TO LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS?
Not so fast!
We’ve reached the cause of your stress — not enough time, but you probably aren’t worrying about not having enough time, you are almost certainly worrying about a possible effect of not having enough time
What we have then, is the cause of your stress, but not the cause of your worry. The stress is causing you to worry, but what are you worrying about
Now you should ask yourself the question: “What consequence of not having enough time is worrying you? A number of reasons might come to mind, your clients will be angry; your boss will be angry; you’ll be fired; perhaps all of these worry you?
If you do find multiple reasons, choose the absolute worst. Solving the issue of your boss being angry won’t clear your worry if you’re also worried you’ll be fired!
Okay, you’ll be fired. Or at least that’s what you’re worrying about, it may not be true
Now’s the time to look for solutions, solutions that will alleviate your stress
You have to look at the facts — not enough time and concern that you’ll be fired
Solutions that come to my mind are to work overtime, probably unpaid! Or to approach your boss — often a tough option, after all who likes telling the boss they might not get what they’re expecting!
If you find yourself already working overtime or often having deadlines that need overtime to be worked, you really do need to approach your boss — I’ll go into ways you can do this in my next blog
Think about it! If you’re constantly under pressure due to not having enough time and you’re afraid of your boss and you’re already worried about being fired, then what could be the worst thing that would happen if you did approach your boss — you’d actually be fired!
So do it! Approach your boss! The probability is that your boss needs you more than you think and if you say it the right way your boss will actually want to help!
Certainly, there are circumstances where people do get fired when they try to tell their boss their concerns, maybe it’s due to a bad boss, maybe it was the way it was said, maybe the job was just a bad fit. In any event, you’d have to ask if you’d be better off without the job and the stress that goes with it — stress has a terrible effect on your health
More often, with the right approach your boss will understand and, even if your boss says that there is no option, you just have to do your best and work extra time, you will find that by finding the root cause of your stress and doing something to address the worries you have that you will be less worried, less stressed
If others before you have been fired for not meeting deadlines, then perhaps you are worrying about the right thing and the solution to alleviate your worry would be for you to focus your energy on finding another job, before you do get fired! Focussing on finding a new job will help clear your worry about getting fired. I understand finding that new job can be hard at times and that bills have to be paid, but my personal experience tells me that there is always a better solution than constant worry
Yes, I still worry about the chaotic crud that life throws at me, at all of us, but when it does, my first reaction is to look for a solution. Life is too precious to spend much of it worrying
Now, I probably chose an example that was quite extreme, being fired may well not be one of your worries and I sincerely hope it is not, but the principle, the method of getting to the cause and of shifting your mindset form worrying to looking for a solution was what I was wanting you to focus in on
Let me know in the comments if you feel this will help you lessen your worries, or if you think there are other, better ways — I always love to have your feedback!
CONSIDER THIS!
Remember, you may not find it easy to use this approach once and have instant results
But you’ll have lasting results over time by becoming aware of your thoughts, by asking why and finding the underlying reasons behind your worries. If you want to do it, developing this habit will be worthwhile, and it will become easier with practice!
Remember every week I’ll be putting out more ways to improve your life here
Your ardent supporter
JustinKynde with kindwordz
