A Tale of Two Houses

If you don’t know by now, I used to be married to someone else. I divorced that person and am now married to Teresa. She is awesome. The divorce SUCKED!! During that time I started going to counseling, learning meditation, and doing other stuff to try to figure out why in the fuck I got myself into a bad marriage. To this day there is still residue from said divorce and it still affects my day to day sometimes.

Luckily I found a good therapist here in Salt Lake City and have been going at least twice a month, sometimes more. All of that said, yesterday my therapist gave me a really cool analogy after I expressed frustration about having a few weeks of “down”. Here it is:

When we decide to do work on ourselves (that can be counseling, yoga, meditation, exercise, anything) we start as a total goddam mess. Imagine that mess as a house… it’s dingy, the roof is caving in, and it’s an all around shitty place to be.

So one day you decide to build a new house for yourself. It’s hard and expensive to build a new house, so you take your time, but you do it right and over time you create a really comfortable, peaceful place to be. Big windows, open layout, plenty of room for parties, and a room full of awesome tools.

Then one day, BOOM, you find yourself in your old house again. Maybe you got drunk and stumbled in. Maybe a strong gust of wind.

But wait, your new house is still there! In fact, you built it just next door. You are no longer stuck in your old house, so you do what you can to open the door, step into the sunshine (or rain), and make your way back to your new house. I tend to get stuck when I return back to my “old house.” I get frustrated and think that now I’m stuck there forever. I forget that I have a cool new place that I’ve done a lot of work on.

If shit is whack in your life or if you’ve done work but find yourself in a shitty situation, take heart. Work that you do on yourself pays off. If you have been thinking about going to talk to someone, do it. It will pay off! Life will always throw us back into that old house sometimes, but when you have a new house built, new tools in your mental health arsenal, you can choose to leave that old nasty house and spend time in happiness and fullness. Holla if you have any questions or need to talk. I realize this is a big old brainfart. Love you beautiful folks.