The Secret To Lasting Behavior Change (What 10 Years Of Drug Addiction Taught Me)

We all have different struggles or battles that we’ve undergone or that we’re currently fighting. Regardless of what they are, they can feel overwhelming at times.

These struggles seem to control our behaviors: Although we wish nothing more than to be freed from them, we often find ourselves continuing to do the very same behaviors we don’t wish to be doing.

If you’ve been struggling to make your behavior change last, you might be feeling frustration and discouragement. But don’t lose hope: There’s actually something fundamental that has been preventing you from making any meaningful change in your life.

If you struggle to be consistent, you continue to revert to old behaviors, or you continue to act in ways that are contradictory to what you say and believe you actually want to accomplish, it’s because you’re holding onto your current identity. You’re believing a false narrative about yourself and what you’re truly capable of accomplishing.

In this article, I want to share with you this foundational factor preventing you from changing, and how you can start to leverage it to your advantage and experience seemingly effortless progress.

If you’d rather listen to or watch this information, go here: https://urlgeni.us/youtube/The-Secret-To-Changing-Your-Behavior

Can’t Seem To Change Your Behavior?

Here are a few of the recurring statements I’ve encountered over years of coaching people through weight-loss and behavior change. See if any of these statements or thoughts sound familiar to you:

• I can’t seem to change my behavior, even though I want to
• I don’t have any self-control or self-discipline
• I can’t stay consistent or motivated long enough to make any difference

When it comes to changing your behavior, you’ve likely focused primarily on tactics. For weight-loss, it typically means focusing on what foods to eat, when to exercise, or what supplements to take.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with tactics and strategies; they do have their place within your overall process for behavior change.

But if you lack the foundational components of identity and beliefs, any tactics you attempt to implement will fail you in the long-term.

I personally experienced this over the course of 15 years as I evolved from a severely depressed drug addict, to someone who was out of control and 43 pounds overweight.

I finally transformed into who I am currently: A husband, a business owner, a health coach, and someone who is in control of his own life and future direction.

My transformation — and the struggles I underwent — will give you insight into why you have remained stuck up until this moment, and what you need to do in order to finally break-free from this cycle.

My (2-Minute) Life Story

At the age of 15, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I believed these diagnoses for nearly 15 years.

I was prescribed over 26 different antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications over those 15 years, and the last psychiatrist I ever met with told me that there was nothing further that might be done for me.

This was a pivotal point in my life: I had put my faith in medication being the answer to my problem, and this doctor admitted that there was nothing more that could be done.

What I didn’t understand was that changing my circumstances started with changing my thinking and behaviors.

To complicate matters further, it was around the time I was diagnosed with depression that I started drinking alcohol. I drank excessively until the age of 22, when I found something that worked even better to numb me from reality and depression: Opiates.

My addiction began with pain medication that I was prescribed for a lower-back injury, but it quickly led to using fentanyl, morphine, dilaudid, and any other narcotic I could get my hands on.

Eventually I went to my first rehab facility and was indoctrinated into the recovery scene and the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Within recovery, I met a lot of “like-minded” people who were trying to recover from heroin addiction, and I too quickly followed-suit and became a heroin addict.

That’s the incredibly condensed version of the decade comprising my 20s. But here is a key insight:

Amidst all of my drug use, hospitalizations, and suicidal ideations, I truly believed that what I was doing was simply being true to who I really was.

I was someone who suffered from severe depression. The drugs that I took were the only logical escape from my depression. Taking drugs was the only way for me to reestablish normalcy.

I truly believed that there was a chemical imbalance in my brain and body that was causing my depression; I also believed that opiates helped to reestablish that normal balance that should have existed.

Are YOU In Control Of Your Life?

If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, you know firsthand that you will do anything to make yourself feel better. This is where addictions really grab ahold of and begin to control you.

If you are controlled by something you will find yourself continuing to act in ways that are contradictory to what you really wish to be doing, and how you really say you want to be acting.

This is part of the reason why so many people struggle to change behaviors that they know are not helping them move toward their goals.

You might not struggle with an addiction, but there are probably things in your life that have control over you that you wish did not.

• You want to lose weight, but you continue to find yourself eating foods that you know don’t help your efforts
• You want to lose your beer-gut, but you keep drinking alcohol in the evenings or every weekend
• You want to exercise more and feel more energetic, but you find yourself unable to move from the couch after coming home from work
• You want to get to sleep earlier and get more rest, but you continue to stay up late watching Netflix or browsing social media.

Nearly every person who talks about improving their physical health or changing some aspect of their life actually does WANT to change, yet they continue to act in ways that are contradictory to this desire to change.

Perhaps you recognize the direction you’ve been heading is not where you want to be going.

And yet, despite this recognition — despite knowing that what you’re currently doing is not the best choice for your future goals, and despite knowing what you actually need to do — you still act and behave in ways that are contradictory to what you say you really want.

Why Does This Happen?

Most of us have conflicting desires because most of us fail to recognize the narratives or stories that we’re telling ourselves.

I was a person who suffered from depression and anxiety. After years of drug addiction and denial that I had any problem with narcotics, I finally arrived at the identity of a drug addict.

Once I identified myself as a drug addict — or as a person who has “an addictive personality” — it was very easy to find myself becoming addicted to various things. After all, if you’re an addict or you have an addictive personality, doesn’t it make sense that you would be someone who gets addicted to things easily?

So when I finally got sober, it was almost natural for me to transfer my addictive tendencies to food. I became that same person who had no self-control, no self-discipline, and was perhaps addicted to food.

As a result, I had become fat, I didn’t like how I felt or looked, and I was self-conscious all of the time. I wanted to change my circumstances, but I couldn’t force myself to act in a way that would allow me to lose the weight and take back control of my physical health.

I legitimately did not believe that I was capable of becoming someone who was in control of his life and his health.

Being in control of my own life went against my identity at the time.

As a result, any time I would attempt to change, my old behaviors would return in a way that aligned with who I really believed myself to be and what I was actually telling myself.

So how did I change this?

The Key To Overcoming What Is Keeping You Stuck

Your first step to overcoming what is holding you back from making the changes that you really do want to make is to increase your self-awareness surrounding your inner personal narrative.

Be mindful of your language, because it is an indication of your thoughts and beliefs.

What you’re saying to yourself is a true reflection of what you believe to be true. If you’re using statements such as “I have no self-control,” “I have no self-discipline,” “I’m addicted to food;” these are indications that you have an identity and a story that is keeping you stuck.

If you do not change these beliefs, you will continue to be unable to take control of what can really be yours to control.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” ~Lao Tzu

Your thoughts are controlling the direction of your life. Your words are a reflection of your thoughts, and both your words and thoughts control your actions. And you likely know that it is your actions — done consistently over time — that will dictate your outcome or results.

My thoughts dictated my identity in a negative way until I was nearly 30-years-old. I went from a depressed teenager, to a heroin addict, to an overweight emotional eater, simply because I listened to the false narrative–and believed the untrue identity–that I was telling myself in my own head.

Fortunately, today I no longer hold any of those former identities. My identity is entirely dictated, chosen, and directed by who I actually want to be right now and become in the future.

Who I want to be — and who you can be also — is the type of person who is in control of his own life. You and I don’t have to be controlled by anything.

You can commit to breaking the control in your own life, but you first must recognize it. You must become aware of the stories you have in your own head, and you need to start rewriting those stories.

Stop telling yourself you can’t improve your physical health, or lose weight, or change whatever it is you really wish to change, because:

• You have no self-discipline
• You can’t stay consistent or motivated
• Food is the only escape you have from emotional discomfort
• You like snacking too much
• You have no self-control
• You have always been overweight.

Whatever your narratives are, it’s these stories that are keeping you stuck. You must start telling yourself a different story. A story where:

• You actually become who it is you really want to be
• You can achieve the goals you set for yourself
• Your past doesn’t dictate your present circumstances or the future life you intend to live
• You’re in control of your life and the direction that you’re headed.

I know this to be true, because I’ve experienced it myself. If it were not true, I would still be a depressed drug addict today.

If you stay the same — if you really want to change, but you remain stuck where you are right now — it’s because deep-down, you actually want to stay the same.

The power to change your life is within your control; the responsibility is on you.

Are You Comfortable With Who You Currently Are, Or Do You Really Want To Change?

I stayed trapped in addiction for nearly 10 years because the thought of changing seemed more uncomfortable than the miserable circumstances of remaining in drug addiction.

The people I know who never escaped addiction never got to a place where they were so uncomfortable with the direction of their lives that they were willing to do whatever it took to get out of their current circumstances.

I finally arrived at that place where I simply could not continue going in the same direction. The pain and difficulty involved with staying the same far outweighed the discomfort of changing.

If you’re uncomfortable with the direction your life is going, you need to decide to do whatever is necessary to change that direction.

Determine what false narrative you’re telling yourself that is keeping you stuck, rewrite that story, and watch as your behaviors begin to naturally change in response to your altered identity.

If you are ready to change your physical health and the direction your life is headed, be sure to check-out these additional resources:

• Here’s the strategy I used to overcome food addiction and lose more than 43 lbs of body fat in less than 3 months: Your Key To Permanently Losing 40+ Pounds Of Body-Fat
• I made some common mistakes early on in my weight-loss journey–learn what they are so you can avoid making them in your own process here: 5 Common Weight-Loss Practices That Are Harming You (And Keeping You Fat)!