
The Value Of Being Disliked
Being disliked is actually a garbage metric for cultural influence and effectiveness. Certainly, many of the women and men making a difference in their worlds face opposition and some of that opposition is really ugly. But saying something like “I’m making people mad so I must be doing something right” is just plain trash.
Measuring my influence by the negativity or pushback I get too often (and too easily) leads to seeking out negativity and pushback; writing, posting, sharing or saying things with the intent to irritate.
I’m. not even the most influential person in my own sphere of influence, but in light of what influence I’m given, I don’t mind opposition or pushback when it comes. That said, I have too much work to do building and helping and fixing to spend any time or effort trying to aggravate.
Legacies like those of Malcom X, thomas Merton, Dr. King, Dorothy Day, etc.. are littered with accounts of opposition and resistance. But those legacies aren’t defined by the people they pissed off. Those legacies don’t live on negative energies or resistance stories; they are carried forward on the shoulders of women and men who loved and believed those heroes and their work.
I’d like to be more like them.
i don’t want to keep a list of people i frustrated. I want to be on other people’s lists; lists with headings like “Helpers.” I don’t want to ask “who’s against me?” I want to take deep joy in those traveling with me.
