In a paraphrased version Dr.Phil describes abuse as using emotion, physical, financial or verbal to manipulate another person for selfish control. I think everything stems from using people whether it be your own kids, significant other, friends, co workers, people to satisfy an underlying need. A lot of abuse is unintentional which is why we overlook it so much and stick around. I think we can be free from abuse and be able to see it when we are completely dependent on our selves for happiness. When we don’t need anyone for love or for happiness or for validation we can see clearly when someone else is abusing us because they need us for those things.