The Pain of A Man
There’s a pain that runs through my body that is different from any other pain I’ve ever felt. It’s the pain of a man and what hurts most about this pain is the fact that it is usually inflicted by a woman I love and ignored just the same.
I’ve chased love and given myself to women I’ve loved without ceasing. I’ve sacrificed for the happiness of these women and worked extremely hard to accommodate her to the best of my ability.
Playing the role of Pastor, father, best friend, financial advisor, therapist, crutch and lover among other things. Far from perfect but definitely a nice piece of clay to work with. I’ve had my trust severely damaged and my integrity as a man challenged to no end.
I’ve pushed only for happiness and freedom on her behalf and have been met with resistance and accusations….Far from perfect but definitely a nice piece of clay to work with.
I’ve been a father to children I didn’t create and a healer of wounds I didn’t inflict. I’ve cooked, cleaned, massaged and even purchased tampons. I fought through attitudes and being completely ignored in my own home.
I’ve put so much work into the concepts of love and then gone out and executed to near perfection. I’ve begged for understanding and negotiated for a listening ear.
In society I’m portrayed as disloyal, some would say a dog….the irony. Dogs happen to be very loyal but when mistreated there is always a chance they may turn on you. Funny too how that works. They always see the bite but never the stab that preceded it.
The picture painted of men is one that suggest we don’t know much, that we can’t function properly and lack any real knowledge of anything. Regardless of how sexist this society is there is still an undertone that says within the confines of a relationship ask a woman because men don’t know a thing.
Our feelings don’t matter, nor does our perspective. Happy wife happy life. Maybe this is why married men are twice as likely as married women to commit suicide. If all that matters is the happiness of the wife who tends to the husband.
This is where it hurts most, the pain of a man that is. Knowing that in giving your all, all you have to look forward to is the happiness of your significant other and that of your children if you have any. Which in turn leaves you as a man asking if you will ever be happy? If what you feel will ever matter?
This feeling makes it hard to trust, hard to believe in the opposite sex. You constantly feel as though you are being angled for someone else’s happiness and ultimately it has nothing to do with your physical person. You’re just a means to an end.
But then again that’s not really a question men are allowed to ask because if you let society tell it, men don’t even know how to feel and that is the greatest pain known to man.