Untitled Poem: Remorse

i miss the nights where

i got to dress up

and pretend like my presence

meant a damn.

the nights where i stood

beside you in your beauty,

mesmerized and still

calm, pure, and grand.

that fresh feeling

you get, when the one

who loves you

can’t let go of your hand.

even for a night

that feeling never failed

to brighten up the night

of this sad, sad man.

that night i got to pretend

like i was someone’s man.

the night where you

could have taken me away,

running as fast as we can.

away from this place.

away from myself.

away from everyone

who shouted at me

and told me to be careful

of my feelings.

to hide my love.

and to stop my breathing.

i wish it didn’t end,

my hopeless bliss

and my memories,

now merely trifles.

i miss the nights

where the soul in me

was alive and easy to

battle life when it tried to stifle

me.

i miss the nights that

i cared enough about you,

that some of that love

spread back to me, too.

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