Ableism is a form of discrimination and prejudice against individuals with disabilities. It can take many forms, from physical barriers that prevent access to buildings and services, to social attitudes that assume people with disabilities are less capable or worthy than those without disabilities. Unfortunately, ableism is so deeply ingrained in our society that even those who experience it may internalize it and turn it against themselves.
When society teaches us to hate ourselves as disabled individuals, we may begin to believe that our disabilities are our own fault or that we are somehow less deserving of respect and dignity. We may feel ashamed of our bodies, our minds, and our struggles, and try to hide them from others or even from ourselves. This can lead to a cycle of self-blame, self-doubt, and self-hatred that can be difficult to break out of.
This internalized ableism can also lead to a lack of self-advocacy and self-care. We may not ask for accommodations that we need or seek medical treatment for our pain because we feel that we don’t deserve it or that it won’t make a difference. We may push ourselves too hard or deny ourselves rest because we feel guilty for not being “productive” or “normal.”
It take me a long time to start unlearning the ableism that I have internalized from childhood. I’ve had to work hard to embrace my disabled body and to reject the idea that I need to be “fixed” or “cured”. It’s an ongoing process, and there are still days when I struggle to love myself as I am.
But I’m learning to be kinder to myself, to prioritize my own needs and to recognize that my disability is a valuable part of who I am.
Breaking out of this cycle of self-hatred and self-neglect requires recognizing the ableist messages that we have internalized and actively working to counter them. It means acknowledging that our disabilities are not our fault and that we deserve respect and dignity regardless of our abilities. It means advocating for ourselves and seeking the support and accommodations that we need to thrive. It means taking care of ourselves and honoring our bodies and minds, even when they don’t fit society’s narrow definition of “normal.”
