Confessions of a Complainer
I must admit that I am a complainer. I would blame others when things didn’t go the way I envisioned. It wasn’t until recently I’ve became aware of this short coming. Complaining is unhealthy and unattractive. If I can relate it to anything, it will be like smoking a mental cigarette — and I have a nasty habit.
Here are some things that I’ve been doing to deal with these disgusting urges.
Before I blurt out my dissatisfaction with something, I catch myself and grab my notebook. Journaling allows me to clarify my thoughts. My thought process is a mash up of thoughts clumped together. Writing allows me to focus my energy and simplify. Once the complaint is broke down, I can then explore new angles to my dissatisfaction. I always realize how wrong I was from the beginning. A humbling experience every single time.
Writing also allows me track of my complaints as I grow up. Rereading streams of conscious from when I was 18 helps me be better at 21 year and I envision my writings at 21 will in turn help me be better at 24 and so on. It’s all self-improvement.
This may seem like a no-brainer to most of you, but I’d be embarrassed to say how many times I forget to simply think through the solutions to my complaints before I vocalize them. I struggled with this, often times because I wasn’t aware that I was complaining. You don’t go to the doctor if you don’t think you’re sick, and I thought I was feeling fine. I was expecting others to bring solutions to my problems when the answer lied within. I was living a highly reactionary life and I can assure you that’s no life to live.
I now think through three solutions before I utter a word to anyone. Sometimes I fail to name three and complain anyway, but for the most part I’m successful. Once there are solutions on the table, it’s pretty much smooth sailing after that. I had to begin doing something about those complaints, not just talking about them. Instead of complaining, I started creating.
Just let it go. Once again, this may seem like a “Duh!” but it is not always easy for me. I have to think of complaints as bad thoughts and just like bad thoughts there is no room for them. I wouldn’t let a thief into my house to steal my things, so I can’t let any bad thoughts in my abode to steal my joy. To fight off these bad thoughts, I:
Take a walk outside and just breathe the air. Look at the clouds. Ask myself questions about the grass. Get all philosophical about nature.
Tell three people that I love them. For you, I suggest you tell 3 complete strangers you admire something about them with full sincerity. It helps with communication and you might get a friend or two out of it.
Close my eyes and in detail think about my ideal future. When my mind starts to wander, I force it back to my blissful vision.
I tell you all of this to say this — quit complaining, it’s gross!