I wasn’t always so subtle about things. I’ve been accused of having a bad temper earlier in my life. But I’ve settled down a lot. It’s funny how you change with age.

I don’t consider myself “older.” The idea of “getting old” is rather disheartening to me, as I am sure most other folks aren’t likely to embrace the notion of being old. And honestly, being in my mid-forties isn’t exactly old anyways. It’s more like seasoning. A little sprinkle of this, a dash of that, and wa-lah… life tastes better.

I used to like more pronounced things. Like women dressed in gaudy clothing, and the loud, obnoxious absurdities pouring out of caked on make-up, ruby red lips stick and laughing and chewing gum. Something about New York women always sent a tingling down my spine. I guess that’s why both of my ex-wives are New Yorkers. I just couldn’t resist.

But like most nightmares, after a little while of being awake, you realize it was a just a bad dream and the normal world gradually retakes your reality. Both of my ex-wives were good at being subtle. The truth is, I was the one that wasn’t. And anyone who understands the culture of New Yorkers knows you have to be a little tough skinned and desensitized in order to live with them. I really thought growing up in south Florida prepared me for this. You know, with all those New York transplants and all. Nope.

I must confess being married to New York women utlimately taught me how to be subtle. It was refined with entering into my forties to be sure. You can call it maturity, but I like to think of it as “waking up” from the proverbial blindness of life in bondage. The moment you understand resistance will only reward you with more lashes. And I don’t mean the kind high class hookers wear (or low class, depending on the quality of the lashes). The only way to get your jabs in anywhere with little retribution is to be subtle about it. And I have found this has actually turned out to be far more fun, challenging and satisfying.

I truly understand now why people many eons ago invented double entendres. Shakespeare was the absolute master at it. Now, I have always been good at this, for the record, but wasn’t always subtle about it. You know, saying something really charged with multiple meanings and being vague at the same time. Now, when I go about my business, it is so much easier to unleash my fury on people without being offensive. Perhaps that would be something even my New Yorker ex-wives could appreciate. Just spit out your gum before you say it first, honey.


One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.