Be Happy First

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

2017 has been nothing but a great year for my personal growth and self awareness. I have been through so much and learned a lot of life lessons along the way. I started to realized how I lived my life and wondered why I was not as happy. I was blessed to come across these two books that changed the way I think.

Before I start, I do want to emphasize one thing, I am not blaiming on the things that happened this year, but I am happy that it happened. Because, if it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be here writing, documenting myself on Youtube and discovering more about myself.

There are two books that alter my thinking in a very powerful way, the books are:

Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

These books are life changing, don’t just take my words, but actually go read it for yourself.


Before I share some parts of the book, I just want to summarize the book a little bit. The Power of Now is a very good book for people that are always thinking in the past and the future. In the book, Eckhart explains very well how most of us perform our daily life, which is always unconscious of our actions and how we need to try to change that. His book is an international best seller so there is no doubt that his messages are easy to digest. Another thing, I like about him is that, he uses different religions as examples, which I hardly find in a spiritual books.

The second book, Mastery of Love is another wonderful to read. No its not about relationship love, but its about loving yourself. Don always emphasized throughout his book that loving yourself is the first thing to a great relationship with other people. Also understanding each other in a relationship, understand that not everyone thinks the same and how we can live with that mindset. All in all, these two books are very good read after a hard event in your life. Whether thats a breakup, loosing someone meaningful, or just not feeling content in life.

The Message that Sticks

You have a kitchen and it can give you all the food in the whole wide world that you ever wanted. Then someone came in the door and offer you a pizza, would you take it?

This is a simple metaphor but most people get this wrong, I mean, I did! The meaning behind this is that, you need to create your own “kitchen” in your life that can give you “food”, which is happiness. You need to be able to fulfill yourself, that you don’t need to rely on other people (the pizza). Because when you rely on the food from someone else, you will be hooked on. And when they do leave you, you will not be able to be happy again.

Hence, the only way for you to always be happy, is to be able to be fulfill by your own “kitchen”, not hoping for someone to make you happy. Once you are happy, only then can you share that happiness with other people you meet. This way, you will always be content and happy with yourself no matter what your condition is.

Now transitioning to the Power of Now, which provides some pointer on how to create that “kitchen” in your life. Like the title, Eckhart really pushes his message of how most of us are not living in the now and not aware of it. He prove this point by saying:

Have you ever done something out of your control? Then a few moments later, you asked yourself, “why did I do that”

Who is I? Why are you asking yourself about your own action? Does that mean that it wasn’t you that did the action? It was someone else? If you did it, you wouldn’t ask that question in the first place, because you are aware of what you are about to do right?

So how does this relates to finding your own happiness? By not being aware of your actions, you cannot control your thoughts and hence you can’t be happy. Eckhart mentioned that the primary reasons of unhappiness is never the situation but you. The way you take that particular situations, you always have a choice. For instance, a dog barking at you, might be a very unpleasant situation and cause you to be mad, which creates unhapiness. If you take a second and realized that is the nature of dogs, you will not be pissed at that situation. It is what the dog suppose to do, so there is no need for you to be mad, you can still choose happiness.

Look, lets be honest, its easy to read about the kitchen metaphor, bla bla bla. But when it comes to implementing it to real life, thats the hardest part. Knowing and doing is sometimes are very opposite, you can know a lot of things but not doing it. So what should you do? The way I do it is always reminding myself through daily meditation and re reading summary of these books. So that I can be conscious at my own actions and always choose happiness. Try it and get ready for some life changes!

I hope this article helps you as much as it helps me to improve my life. If you have any response, don’t be shy to email or message me on instagram.

Instagram: @jwandy211


Have a good day people!