You’re Hired! The Top Jobs Under President Trump

If you’re looking for work, graduating in May or just want to try something different, we’ve got great news! Thanks to the Trump administration, there’s a ton of new, in-demand jobs sweeping the country. Here are the 4 most promising careers for 2017:

1. Fortune Teller — Calling all clairvoyants! Paging all prognosticators! After last year’s political roller coaster, millions of Americans on both sides of the aisle don’t know what will come next. But you can tell us! Dust off those crystal balls and break out the tarot cards to tell us what will happen in the future, because yours looks brighter than ever. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

2. Travel Agent — Travel agents have traditionally had to work hard to find their clients the right destination. Not anymore! In 2017, it won’t take much to please Americans looking for relief from the 24-hour news cycle. Just book them a vacation to anywhere without internet access (or cable news). A career as a travel agent has never been easier, eh?

3. Therapist/Bartender — Interested in a lifetime of job security? Two things won’t be going away any time soon — political arguments with your friends on Facebook and trying to avoid them. If you have strong people skills and the patience of a saint, the only thing left to decide is whether you’d be more comfortable beside a couch or behind the bar.

And, of course that job that everyone immediately thought of. . .

4. Mason — If you think wall building peaked during the Ming Dynasty in China, think again! With nearly 2,000 miles stretching between the U.S. and Mexico, border states will need skilled masons to complete the wall POTUS has promised. So, get those applications ready, masons — the sky is literally the limit!

NOTE: This is a work of satire. For millions of real job openings, please visit

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