Real Leaders Eat Manipulators for Breakfast
While on sabbatical in New Zealand, I spoke about leadership at a conference. My talk distilled what I’ve learned about leadership as a tech executive, entrepreneur, non-profit manager, and parent. People seemed to really like what I had to say, so I’m going to publish the material here in a series of short posts. I look forward to your feedback.
Real Leadership Starts with Followership
In any group of people who are together long enough, a leader will naturally emerge. The leader is the one people are following. The leader may or may not be the person with the formal title of leader, but if they have followers, they are a leader, for better or worse. If you find this definition of leadership a bit empty and soulless, good for you. Read on.
We know leaders who satisfy the “have followers” requirement but fail to have a lasting positive impact on the people and organizations they lead. Why? In my experience I have found that many of these people are not leaders at all — they are manipulators posing as leaders.
Manipulators fail to generate authentic followership. Followership is what informed followers freely give to a leader who genuinely inspires them and cares about them. Authentic followership exists only when it is freely given. It cannot be taken. The moment manipulative methods make an appearance, followership leaves the room.
Blind obedience is not followership. Followers must fully understand what they’re part of. Acquiescence is not followership. Followers must be proactive, willing contributors. Transactional self-interest is not followership. Followers must be genuinely inspired. Mercenaries cannot give followership. Following under surveillance is not followership. Followers should do the right things for the right reasons when no one is looking.
I guess one reason I am so passionate about the followership concept is that we all seem to underestimate our power as followers. Freely giving our followership is a very powerful thing. It gives us meaning and purpose and drives us to find a way to succeed. We often fail to see how much leaders depend on our followership. If enough people withdraw followership, the leader is no more. I want to live in a world where leaders are defined not only by the short term results they deliver, but by the depth and duration of followership they receive.
Manipulators who achieve short-term results sometimes let themselves believe that they have generated authentic followership only to find out — often in dramatic and bitterly disappointing ways — that it was all an illusion. Happily, the opposite is also true. Real leaders are often surprised at how durable and resilient authentic followership can be — delivering results far beyond what anyone might have expected or even hoped for.
The Real Leader Code
Receiving followership is the start of the real leader’s journey, but the journey will be very short unless the leader demonstrates a commitment to the other attributes of real leadership. I call this The Real Leader Code.
I believe that real leaders inspire others to discover, develop, contribute, and organize their capabilities to achieve noble common goals. I’ll unpack every word of the Code in future posts. But at the highest level, the Real Leader Code is about harnessing followership to achieve leverage that delivers results over the long term.
The opposite of the Real Leader Code is the Manipulator Code, and it’s familiar to anyone who’s paying attention.
In contrast to real leaders, manipulators get others to surrender resources in transactions that achieve the leader’s personal ambitions. Manipulation is about getting people to give up their resources through whatever means necessary, without caring about the long term effects. It’s all about the manipulator’s ambitions, not the greater good. It’s about transactional relationships, not being inspired to contribute to a worthy cause. It’s fake and unsustainable, and it leaves the world poorer.
We have all seen manipulators in action. They cut corners and say anything it takes to get us to do their bidding, and we secretly hate them for it. We may even personally profit from transactional relationships with manipulators, but secretly we hate ourselves for it. Manipulators leave a wide wake of resentment behind them in their relentless quest to “win” in what they see as a game and what we see as life.
It can take time for the universe to collect payment on all the externalities that manipulators impose on society, but sooner or later, the bill always comes due, and the cost to their legacy is very high. Manipulators live lives of hollow opulence and fragile power, often die sad and lonely in the company of greedy sycophants, and are forever resented. Who wants that?
Conclusion
Real leaders make the world a better place, and we need more of them. Manipulators are a huge drag on the well-being of everyone, and we need to end their reign. I hope that the Real Leader Code will inspire prospective leaders to focus on the right things, and will inspire followers to be more selective about who receives their followership. I’ll have a lot more to say about this whole framework in future posts, and I’d love your feedback on this initial start. Let me know what I’m missing, and share your examples and ideas for how these principles apply (or don’t apply) in your world.
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